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HOW
TRUE
I've never
driven a car
before. It's not so bad for first time!
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| Man
is the only animal that goes to sleep when he's not sleepy and gets up
when he is tired. |
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| If
you love something, set it free.
If
it comes back, it was, and always will be yours.
If
it never returns, it was never yours to begin with.
If
it just sits in your living room, messes up your stuff, eats your food,
uses your telephone, takes your money, and never behaves as if you
actually
set it free in the first place, you either married it or gave birth to
it!
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| Business
conventions
are important because they demonstrate how many people a company can
operate
without. |
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| Today's
woman puts on wigs,
fake eyelashes, false fingernails, sixteen pounds of assorted
make-up/shadows/blushes/creams,
living bras, various pads that would make a linebacker envious, has
implants
and assorted other surgeries, then complains that she cannot find a
"real"
man. |
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| A good
answer is what
you think of later. |
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| No one has
more driving
ambition than the boy who wants to buy a car. |
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NEXT>>
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Send
a link or joke to a friend
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The man who seeks one thing in life, and
but one,
May hope to achieve it before life be
done;
But he who seeks all things, wherever he
goes,
Only reaps from the hopes which around
him he sows
A harvest of barren regrets.
—Owen
Meredith
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I am a
great friend to public amusements; for they keep people from
vice.
—Samuel
Johnson.
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"It is
hard, indeed," said the melancholy gentleman, "to lose one's
relatives."
"Hard?" snorted the gentleman of wealth. "Hard? It is impossible! |
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| Repartee
is saying on the instant what you didn't say until the next
morning.
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| Stores
hire extra help for
the holidays. This way, customers who don't know what they want are
helped
by people who don't know where it is. |
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It is
better to be looked
over than overlooked.
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Among the
members of a working gang on a certain building lot was an
Irishman
who claimed to be very good at figures. The boss, thinking that he
would
get ahead of Irishman, said:
"Say, Pat, how many shirts can you get out of a
yard?"
"That depends," answered Pat, "on whose yard you get into."
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