DID
YOU KNOW?
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The
only good thing
about being imperfect is the joy it brings to others.
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IT
FOLLOWS
At a Singapore
book fair, P.G.
Publishing's best-seller was 101 Questions and Answers About Pregnacy
and
Childbirth. This was entirely natural considering their best-seller the
previous year had been 101 Questions and Answers About Sex. |
| When
a man goes to his closet and says, "I don't have anything to wear,"
what
he really means is "I don't have anything clean to wear." |
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| When
a woman goes to her closet and says, "I don't have anything to wear,"
she
really means, "I don't have anything new to wear." |
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| Some
people think life begins
at conception, while others think life begins at birth. But some
believe
that life begins when the kid moves out and the dog he left behind
dies. |
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| You spend
18 months
trying to get your children to stand up and talk, and the next 18 years
to get them to sit down and listen! |
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| No one
can make you feel
more humble than the repairman who discovers you've been trying to fix
it yourself. |
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| The length
of a minute depends
on which side of a bathroom door you're standing on. |
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| Job
security does not
exist! |
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| The real
head of a household
is the one who has custody of the remote control. |
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| No
matter how many TV
channels you switch to, you always get a commercial. |
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| Charity is
a sentiment common
to human nature. A never sees B in distress without wishing C to
relieve
him. |
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| For a
good neighbour,
it's hard to beat one who doesn't turn his snowblower around at the
property
line. |
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| When
someone ask if you
have a minute, he or she is really asking for 20. |
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| The way
some houses are
built, the only thing that'll last 30 years is the mortgage. |
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| A cocktail
party is an affair
where a mans gets stiff, a woman gets tight, and they return home to
find
that neither is either. |
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NEXT
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