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Time spent laughing is time spent with the gods - (Japanese proverb)


USA: "It's ten o'clock: do you know where your children are?" 
ITALY: "It's ten o'clock: do you know where your husband is?" 
FRANCE: "It's ten o'clock: do you know where your wife is?" 
POLAND: "It's ten o'clock: do you know what time it is?" 

Some Problems

Willie and Ray, a couple of farmers, met at the town hardware store on Saturday. 
" Had some problems with my herd," lamented Willie. " My prize bull was impotent. But the vet came and gave him some special medicine, and now he seems to be fine." 
The next week, Ray met Willie at the store again. 
" My bull's had problems, too," said Ray. " What was that medicine the vet prescribed?" 
" I don't know," answered Willie. " But it tastes like chocolate."

"You say you doted on your last girlfriend?"
"Yes, mum. I certainly did."
"Then why did you leave her?"
"We couldn't continue to be friends on my wages, mum."



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During a financial panic, a German farmer went to a bank for some money. He was told that the bank was not paying out money, but was using cashier's checks. He could not understand this, and insisted on money.
The bank officers took him in hand, one after another, with little effect. At last the president tried his hand, and after long and minute explanation, some inkling of the situation seemed to be dawning on the farmer's mind. Much encouraged, the president said: "You understand now how it is, don't you, Mr.. Schmidt?"
"I t'ink I do," admitted Mr. Schmidt. "It's like dis, aindt it? Ven my baby vakes up at night and vants some milk, I gif him a milk ticket."


The sympathetic and inquisitive old lady at the seashore was delighted and thrilled by an old sailor's narrative of how he was washed overboard during a gale and was only rescued after having sunk for the third time.
"And, of course," she commented brightly, "after you sank the third time, your whole past life passed before your eyes."
"I presoom as how it did, mum," the sailor agreed. "But bein' as I had my eyes shut, I missed it."