Travel Alaska


Bar Exam

A defence lawyer questioning a witness in a drunk-driving case asked,
"Officer, you say you are absolutely sure the defendant was intoxicated?"
"Yes, sir," was the answer.
"And how long have you been with the police?"
"Six months," replied the officer.
"After only six months on the force," continued the defence attorney, "you are able to say with certainty that the defendant was intoxicated?"
"Well, before I joined the force," replied the rookie, "I was a bartender for 16 years."


A man in a bar has a couple of beers, and the bartender tells him he owes $15.
"But I paid, don't you remember?" says the man.
"Okay," says the bartender, "If you say you paid, you did."
The man then goes outside and tells the first person he sees that the bartender can't keep track of whether his customers have paid.
The second man then rushes in, orders a beer and later pulls the same stunt.
The bartender replies "Okay then, I'll take your word for it."
Soon the customer goes into the street, sees an old friend and tells him how to get free drinks. The man hurries into the bar and begins to drink highballs when , suddenly, the bartender leans over and says, "You know, a funny thing happened in here tonight. Two men were drinking beer, neither paid, and both claimed they did. The next guy who tries that is going to get punched right in the nose."
"Don't bother me with your troubles," the final patron responds. "Just give me my my change, and I'll be on my way."



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A Scotchman had been presented with a pint flask of rare old Scotch whiskey. He was walking briskly along the road toward home, when along came a car which he did not sidestep quite in time. It threw him down and hurt his leg quite badly. He got up and limped down the road. Suddenly he noticed that something warm and wet was trickling down his leg.

"Oh, Lord," he groaned, "I hope that's blood!"

Law Humor

DOCTOR (feeling Sandy's pulse in bed): "What do you drink."

SANDY (with brightening face): "Oh, I'm nae particular, doctor! Anything you've got with ye."

An old drinker visited a doctor and received instructions as to what he should do to stop drinking. Shaking his head, he was about to leave the office, when the doctor called out "Hey, there, mister, you forgot to pay me." "Pay you fo' what, boss?" "For my advice." "Nossuh, boss," said old drinker, shuffling out. "I'se compluntated it from all angles and decided not to take it."
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I drink when I have occasion, and sometimes when I have no occasion.—Cervantes.
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Here's to the girls of the American shore, I love but one, I love no more,
Since she's not here to drink her part, I'll drink her share with all my heart.