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Political Humor & Jokes

Sure you can trust the government! Just ask an Indian!

In politics stupidity is not a handicap.

What is the difference between George Washington, Richard Nixon, Bill Clinton and President George W. Bush?  

................ Washington couldn't tell a lie, Nixon couldn't tell the truth, Clinton didn't know the difference between truth and lie, and President George W. Bush doesn't know anything.

Don't steal - the government hates competition...

President & Call Girl

One day, a Mr. President was looking for a call girl. He found three such ladies in a local lounge - - - a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead. To the blonde he said, "I am the President ... How much would it cost me to spend some time with you? The blonde replied, "Two hundred dollars." 
To the brunette he posed the same question, and she replied, "One hundred dollars." He then asked the redhead the same question.
The redhead replied, "Mr. President, if you can raise my skirt as high as my taxes...... get my panties as low as my wages...get that thing of yours as hard as the times... keep it as high as the gas prices...keep me warmer than my apartment... and screw me in private the way you do in public, then believe me Mr.President, it ain't gonna cost you a cent."



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An Italian politician, in an interview in Washington, praised American democracy:
"Over here," he said, "you respect a man for what he is himself—not for what his family is—and thus you remind me of the gardener in Bologna who helped me with my first farming cultivator.
"As my mother's gardener and I were working on cultivator together a young rich guy from an ancient family joined us one day, and while he watched us work the count boasted of his lineage.
"The gardener, after listening a long while, smiled and said:
"'If you come from an ancient family, it's so much the worse for you sir; for, as we gardeners say, the older the seed the worse the crop.'"

Other Humor & Jokes

"Alert?" repeated a congressman, when questioned concerning one of his political opponents. "Why, he's alert as a Providence bridegroom I heard of the other day. You know how bridegrooms starting off on their honeymoons sometimes forget all about their brides, and buy tickets only for themselves? That is what happened to the Providence young man. And when his wife said to him, 'Why, John, you bought only one ticket,' he answered without a moment's hesitation, 'By Jane, you're right, dear! I'd forgotten myself entirely!'"