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Political
Humor & Jokes
Sure you can trust the
government! Just ask an
Indian!
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| In
politics stupidity is not a handicap. |
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| What is
the difference between George Washington,
Richard Nixon, Bill Clinton and President George
W. Bush?
................ Washington couldn't
tell a lie, Nixon couldn't tell the truth, Clinton didn't
know the difference between truth and lie, and President George W. Bush doesn't know anything.
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| Don't
steal - the government hates
competition... |
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President & Call Girl
One day, a Mr. President was looking
for a call girl.
He found three such ladies in a local lounge - - - a blonde, a
brunette,
and a redhead. To the blonde he said, "I am the President ... How much
would it cost me to spend some time with you? The blonde replied, "Two
hundred dollars."
To the brunette he posed the same question, and she replied, "One
hundred
dollars." He then asked the redhead the same question.
The redhead replied, "Mr. President, if you can raise my skirt as high
as my taxes...... get my panties as low as my wages...get that thing of
yours as hard as the times... keep it as high as the gas prices...keep
me warmer than my apartment... and screw me in private the way you do
in
public, then believe me Mr.President, it ain't gonna cost you a cent." |
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a link or joke to a friend
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RESPECT
An Italian politician, in an interview in
Washington, praised
American
democracy:
"Over here," he said, "you respect a man for what he is himself—not
for what his family is—and thus you remind me of the gardener in
Bologna
who helped me with my first farming cultivator.
"As my mother's gardener and I were working on cultivator together
a young rich guy from an ancient family joined us one day, and while he
watched us work the count
boasted of his lineage.
"The gardener, after listening a long while, smiled and said:
"'If you come from an ancient family, it's so much the worse for you
sir; for, as we gardeners say, the older the seed the worse the crop.'"
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ALERTNESS
"Alert?" repeated a congressman, when
questioned concerning one of
his political opponents. "Why, he's alert as a Providence bridegroom I
heard of the other day. You know how bridegrooms starting off on their
honeymoons sometimes forget all about their brides, and buy tickets
only
for themselves? That is what happened to the Providence young man. And
when his wife said to him, 'Why, John, you bought only one ticket,' he
answered
without a moment's hesitation, 'By Jane, you're right, dear! I'd
forgotten
myself entirely!'" |
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