Bumper Stickers Vol. 2
Buy Land Now. It's Not Being Made Any More.

Bumper sticker on a hearse: I'd rather be breathing.

Do not look into laser with remaining eyeball!

Nudist Camp sign - Sorry, Clothed for Winter.

Always forgive your enemies, nothing annoys them so much.

Tampons $1 a dozen! No strings attached!

Don't drink and drive - Smoke dope and fly home.

Do not disturb. Already disturbed!

I appreciate your not breathing while I smoke.

Get a powerful right arm: subscribe to Playboy.

Don't just do something !!! Stand there !!!

Cover your stump before you hump.

All work and no play, will make you a manager.

Bullshit makes the flowers grow.

Evil always triumphs over good, because good is stupid!

Eat Crap! 10 Trillion flies can't be wrong.

If brains were dynamite you couldn't blow your nose!

Beware of programmers carrying screwdrivers!

All things are green unless they are not.

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QUICK CALCULATION

TEACHER— "Now, Johnny, suppose I should borrow $100 from your father and should pay him $10 a month for ten months, how much would I then owe him?"

LITTLE JOHNNY— "About $30 in interest."

On Kids Way

"Who can tell me the difference between the 'quick' and the 'dead?'" asked the teacher.

Willie waved his hand frantically.

"Well, Willie?"

"Well, the 'quick' are the ones that get out of the way of car; the ones that don't are the 'dead.'"
Political Jokes
"Hey Tommy, what is the name of your family car?"

"I don't know."

"You don't know?

What do your folks call it?"

"Oh, as to that, father always says 'The Mortgage'; my brother John calls it 'The Fake'; mother, 'My Limousine'; sister, 'Our Car'; grandma, 'That Peril'; and our neighbors, 'That Freak,' '"