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Kids Say Definitions

Define H2O and CO2 

H2O is hot water and CO2 is cold water.

Water is composed of two gins. Oxygin and Hydrogin. Oxygin is pure gin. Hydrogin is gin and water.

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In the middle of the 18th century, all the morons moved to Utah.

The inhabitants of Moscow are called Mosquitoes.

The climate is hottest next to the Creator.

In spring the salmon swim upstream to spoon.

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The people who followed the lord were called the twelve opossums.

A census taker is a man who goes from house to house increasing the population.

A scout obeys all to who obedience is due and respects all duly constipated authorities.

Syntax is all the money collected at the church from sinners.

To prevent colds, use an agonizer to spray into the nose until it drips into the throat.

A person should take a bath once in the summer, not so often in the winter.

One of the main causes of dust is Janitors.



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On a pleasant Sunday afternoon an old German and his youngest son were seated in the village inn. The father had partaken liberally of the home-brewed beer, and was warning his son against the evils of intemperance. "Never drink too much, my son. A gentleman stops when he has enough. To be drunk is a disgrace."

"Yes, Father, but how can I tell when I have enough or am drunk?"

The old man pointed with his finger. "Do you see those two men sitting in the corner? If you see four men there, you would be drunk."

The boy looked long and earnestly. "Yes, Father, but—but—there is only one man in that corner."


SON: "Aw, daddy, I don't wanter study arithmetic."

DAD: "What! a son of mine grow up and not he able to figure up baseball scores and batting averages? Never!"