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Some Questions & Answers - Vol.1

QUESTION: What's the difference between a Savings Bond and the typical male?
ANSWER: At some point, the Savings Bond will mature!

QUESTION: What is marriage?
ANSWER: It is something what actually comes up in your garden.

QUESTION: What's the difference between a light bulb and a pregnant lady?
ANSWER: You can't unscrew a pregnant lady!

QUESTION:What do you call kids born in whorehouses?
ANSWER: Brothel sprouts.

QUESTION: What did the bra say to the hat?
ANSWER: You go on ahead, I'm gonna give these two a lift.

QUESTION: What is the difference between a "Battery" and a woman?
ANSWER: A battery has a positive side.

QUESTION: How many divorced Men does it take to screw in a light bulb?
ANSWER: Who knows they never get the house.

QUESTION: How many divorced Women does it take to screw in a light bulb?
ANSWER: Four... 1 to screw in the bulb, 3 to form a support group.

QUESTION: Why are men like trains?
ANSWER: They always stop before you get off.

QUESTION: What is honeymoon?
ANSWER: That brief span of time between, "I do" and "You'd better!"

QUESTION: Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don't point to their bum when they ask where the bathroom is?
ANSWER: Because it could be misunderstood, and taken as invitation.



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Did you ever stop and wonder...
Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll squeeze these pink dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out?"
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Who was the first person to say, "See that chicken there..... I'm gonna eat the next thing that comes outta it's bum."

Chicken Talk

Answer me this...
Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer?
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Why do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?
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Does pushing the elevator button more than once make it arrive faster?
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Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Soup?

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Common sense is only a judge of things that fall under common observation. ~~William Hazlitt