To Freak Out People While Ordering A Pizza
|1. Do not
name the toppings
you want. Rather, spell them out.
up a charge-card
name. Ask if they accept it.
Terminate the call with,
"Remember, we never had this conversation."
Rattle off your order
with a determined air. If they ask if you would like drinks with
that, panic and become disoriented.
|5. Order a
Big Mac Extra
the order taker
a rival pizza place is on the other line and you're going with the
them your address,
exclaim "Oh, just surprise me!" and hang up.
Answer their questions
your accent every
these bonus words
while ordering: FAT FREE SPIRITED COST - EFFICIENT
them to put the
crust on top this time.
Sing the order to
the tune of your favorite song.
|13. Use CB
lingo where applicable.
an extra edge
in your voice when you say "crazy bread."
Stutter on the letter
for a deal available
somewhere else. (e.g. If phoning Domino's, ask for a
what the order taker
Crack your knuckles
into the receiver.
hello, act stunned
for five seconds, then behave as if they called you.
using a touch-tone,
press random numbers while ordering. Ask the person taking the
to stop doing that.
the order taker
you're depressed. Get him/her to cheer you up.
Make a list of exotic
cuisines. Order them as toppings.
your breathiest voice,
tell them to cut the crap about nutrition and ask if they have
Order 52 pepperoni
slices prepared in a fractal pattern as follows from an equation you
about to dictate. Ask if they need paper.
like you know the
order taker from somewhere. Say "Bed - Wetters' Camp, right?"
Start your order
with "I'd like. . . ". A little later, slap yourself and say "No,
they repeat the order
to make sure they have it right, say "OK. That'll be $10.99; please
up to the first window."
Rent a pizza.
while using an
electric knife sharpener.
if you get to
keep the pizza box. When they say yes, heave a sigh of