Get All Travel Info

How To Freak Out People While Ordering A Pizza Cont...
31. Put the accent on the last syllable of"pepperoni."  Use the long "i" sound. 
32. Have your pizza "shaken, not stirred."
33. Tell them to double-check to make sure your pizza is, in fact, dead.
34. Move the mouthpiece farther and farther from your lips as you speak. When the call ends, jerk the mouthpiece back into place and scream goodbye at the top of your lungs. 
35. Say "Are you sure this is (Pizza Place)?  When they say yes, say "Well, so is this! You've got some explaining to do!"  When they finally offer prrof that it is, in fact, (Pizza Place). start to cry and ask "Do you know  what its like to be lied to?" 
36. Say it's your anniversary and you'd appreciate if the deliverer hid behind some furniture waiting for your spouse to arrive so you can surprise him/her.
37. Eliminate verbs from your speech.
38. Psychoanalyze the order taker.
39. Play a sitar in the background.
40. Imitate the order taker's voice. 

41. Order pizza without sugar. 
42. Ask to see a menu. 
43. Amuse the order taker with little-known facts about country music. 
44. Say you'll be able to pay for this when the movie people call back.
45. Ask if they have any idea what is at stake with this pizza. 
46. Ask what topping goes best with well-aged Chardonnay. 
47. Belch directly into the mouthpiece; then tell your dog it should be ashamed.
48. Order a slice, not a whole pizza.
49. Shout "I'm through with men/women!  Send me a dozen of your best, Gaston!"
50. Doze off in the middle of the order, catch yourself, and say "Where was I?  Who are you?" 
51. When they say "What would you like? "say, "Huh?  Oh, you mean now."
52. Ask what their phone number is. Hang up, call them, and ask again
53. Order two toppings, then say, "No, they'll start fighting." 
54. Learn to properly pronounce the ingredients of a Twinkie. Ask that these be included in the pizza.
55. Call to complain about service.  Later, call to say you were drunk and didn't mean it. 
56. Tell the order taker to tell the manager to tell his supervisor he's  or she's fired. 
57. Start the conversation with "My Call to (Pizza Place), Take 1, and... action!"
58. Use expletives like "Great Caesar's Ghost" and "Jesus Joseph and Mary in Tinsel Town." 
59. Ask for the guy who took your order last time.
60. If he/she suggests anything, adamantly declare, "I shall not be swayed by your sweet words." 
61. Wonder aloud if you should trim those nose hairs. 
62. Try to talk while drinking something. 
63. Report a petty theft to the order taker. 
64. Ask if the pizza is organically grown. 
65. Ask about pizza maintenance and repair. 



Send a link or joke to a friend
The young man applied to the manager of the entertainment company for employment as a freak, and the following dialogue occurred:
"Who are you?"
"I am Enoch, the egg king."
"What is your specialty?"
"I eat three dozen hen's eggs, two dozen duck eggs, and one dozen goose eggs, at a single setting."
"Do you know our program?"
"What is it?"
"We give four shows every day."
"Oh, yes, I understand that."
"And do you think you can do it?"
"I know I can."
"On Saturdays we give six shows."
"All right."
"On holidays we usually give a performance every hour."
And now, at last, the young man showed signs of doubt.
"In that case, I must have one thing understood before I'd be willing to sign a contract."
"No matter what the rush of business is in the show, you've got to give me time to go to the hotel to eat my regular meals."
It was shortly after Thanksgiving Day that someone asked the little boy to define the word appetite. His reply was prompt and very  enthusiastic:
"When you're eating you're 'appy; and when you get through you're tight—that's appetite!"
"Suppose," asked the professor in chemistry, "that you were summoned to the side of a patient who had accidentally swallowed a heavy dose of oxalic acid, what would you administer?"
The student who, studying for the ministry, took chemistry because it was obligatory in the course, replied, "I would administer the sacrament."
Political Jokes
"Are you an experienced pilot?"
"Well, sir, I have been at it six weeks and I am all here."