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HUMOR
ABOUT DOGS
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A
bone to the dog
is not charity. Charity is the bone shared with
the dog
when you are
just as hungry as the dog. (Jack London)
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FLUFFY
This guy comes
home from work
one day to find his dog with the neighbor's pet rabbit in his mouth.
The
rabbit is dead and the guy panics. He thinks the neighbors are going to
hate him forever, so he takes the dirty, chewed up rabbit into the
house
and gives it a bath, blow dries its fur and puts the rabbit back into
the
cage at the neighbor's house, hoping they will think it died of natural
causes. A few days later, the neighbor is outside and asks the guy,
"Did
you hear that Fluffy died?". The guy stumbles around and says, "Um..
no..
um.. what happened?". The neighbor replies, "We just found him dead in
his cage one day, but the weird thing is that the day after we buried
him
we went outside and someone had dug him up, gave him a bath and put him
back into the cage. There must be some real sick people out
there!" |
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COMMAND
PERFORMANCE
A man and his
son were shovelling
the driveway after a heavy snowfall when their dog, Lady,
wandered
away from them. Man, fearing the dog might be hit by car, shouted
angrily:
"Lady! Lady! Get over here right now!" The dog charged happily back
over
to them, accompanied by a commuter who had been standing at the bus
stop.
"Yes, sir, what can I do for you?" she asked. |
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TWO
FRIENDS
Two friends,
one an Optimist
and the other a Pessimist could never quite agree on any topic of
discussion.
One day the Optimist decided he had found a good way to pull his
pessimistic
friend out of his way of continual pessimistic way of thinking. The
Optimist
owned a huntin' dog that could walk on water. His plan? Take the
Pessimist
and the dog out duck hunting in a boat. They got out into the middle of
the lake, and the Optimist shot down a duck...the dog immediately
walked
out across the water, retrieved the duck, and walked back to the boat.
The Optimist looked at his Pessimist friend and said, "What do you
think
about that?"
The Pessimist
replied, "That
dog can't swim, can he?" |
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CLEVER
DOG
A wife says to
her husband one
morning, "Darling we've got such a clever dog. He brings in the daily
newspapers
every morning." Her husband replied "Well, lots of dogs can do that."
The
wife responded, "Yes, but we've never subscribed to any!" |
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