SOME QUESTIONS AND ANSWERS

Oh, I've been doing that for some time, to be honest
with you fellows the lock on my door doesn't work.

OUESTION: What is cosmetics?
ANSWER: Cosmetics is a woman's means for keeping a man from reading between the lines.

QUESTION:When does a hill become a mountain?
ANSWER: When it fills out an application for employment.

QUESTION: Why do cows wear bells?
ANSWER: Because their horns don't work.

QUESTION: What do you instantly know about a well-dressed man?
ANSWER: His wife is good at picking out clothes.

QUESTION: Why is it so hard for women to find men that are sensitive, caring and good-looking?
ANSWER: Because all those men already have boyfriends.

QUESTION: How did Pinocchio find out he was made of wood?
ANSWER: His hand caught fire.

QUESTION: What's the best way to get a youthful figure?
ANSWER: Ask a woman her age.

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Fond Mamma: "I sometimes think, dear, you don't treat your dear father with quite the proper respect."
Son: "Well, Ma, I never liked the man."

Mother: "Peter, you naughty boy, you've been smoking. Do you feel very bad, dear?"
Peter: "Thank you for your concern —I'm only dying."

She: "This apartment looks wonderfull, dear! I suppose your landlord asks a lot for the rent of this place?"
He: "A lot! He asks me for it nearly every week."

The Ant: "Well, we've struck!"

The Gnat: "What for?"

The Ant: "Longer hours."