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THE
BEST OF CARNAC
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Question:
What's
the major cause of divorce?
Answer: Once
is not
enough. |
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Question:
What did
the dead raccoon say in his will?
Answer:
"Leave it
to Beaver." |
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Question:
What was
dat hippie smoking?
Answer: Disjoint. |
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Question:
What does
an alligator get on welfare?
Answer: Gatorade. |
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Question:
What did
Sonny Bono used to be?
Answer: Shareholder. |
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Question:
How do
you get a lawyer out of a tree?
Answer:
Cut the rope |
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Question:
What were
some of the earlier forms of Preparation H?
Answer:
A, B, C,
D, E, F, G. |
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Question:
What does
a president look for in a singles bar?
Answer:
Executive
action. |
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Question:
What would
you find in Superman's bathroom?
Answer:
Superbowl. |
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Question:
Name a
fawn, a lawn and a yawn.
Answer:
Bambi, the
White House grounds and the new TV season. |
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| More
of Carnac |
| Carnac
Unlimited |
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Send
a link or joke to a friend
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"I dream
my stories," said the Author.
"How you must dread going to bed!" exclaimed Cynic. |
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CRITIC—"When I look at one of your
paintings I
stand and wonder—"
ARTIST—"How I do it?"
CRITIC "No; why you do it." |
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You can
always tell the English,
You can always tell the Dutch,
You can always tell the Yankees,
But you can't tell them much! |
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AERONAUTICS
A flea and a fly in a flue,
were imprisoned; now what could they do?
Said the fly, "let us flee."
"Let us fly," said the flea,
And they flew through a flaw in the flue. |
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PILOT: (to young assistant, who has
begun to be frightened) - "Well,
what do you want now?"
ASSISTANT: (whimpering)—"I
want the earth." |
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