Question: What's the major cause of divorce?
Answer: Once is not enough.

Question: What did the dead raccoon say in his will?
Answer: "Leave it to Beaver."

Question: What was dat hippie smoking?
Answer: Disjoint.

Question: What does an alligator get on welfare? 
Answer: Gatorade.

Question: What did Sonny Bono used to be?
Answer: Shareholder. 

Question: How do you get a lawyer out of a tree?
Answer: Cut the rope

Question: What were some of the earlier forms of Preparation H?
Answer: A, B, C, D, E, F, G.

Question: What does a president look for in a singles bar?
Answer: Executive action.

Question: What would you find in Superman's bathroom?
Answer: Superbowl.

Question: Name a fawn, a lawn and a yawn.
Answer: Bambi, the White House grounds and the new TV season.

More of Carnac
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"I dream my stories," said the Author.

"How you must dread going to bed!" exclaimed Cynic.
CRITIC—"When I look at one of your paintings I stand and wonder—"

—"How I do it?"

"No; why you do it."
Wedding & Marriage Humor
You can always tell the English,
You can always tell the Dutch,
You can always tell the Yankees,
But you can't tell them much!
On Kids Way
A flea and a fly in a flue, were imprisoned; now what could they do?

Said the fly, "let us flee."

"Let us fly," said the flea, And they flew through a flaw in the flue.
Political Jokes
PILOT: (to young assistant, who has begun to be frightened) - "Well, what do you want now?"

ASSISTANT: (whimpering)—"I want the earth."