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Some True Facts & Stories



Money is the opposite'of the weather. Nobody talks about it,
but everybody does somethnig about it.

Harvey Walken, former part-owner of the Pittsburgh Pirates, on the Chicago Cubs' failure to win a World Series since 1908: 
"I guess any team can have a bad century."

David Maloof: 
"Living together has gained a certain legitimacy in the last decade or two. Fewer eyebrows are raised at the news, and those raised don't go up as high. Possibly it seems more romantic to believe in the bond of the heart, not the law, that marriageless cohabitation suggests. But the most romantic act of all is to know the perils of marriage and then to get married anyway. 
Marriage, through no guarantee of permanence, at least suggests that you both really mean it. When you merely live together, you've got one foot out the door, and that foot is often not pointed towards the chapel. Living together promises nothing and it delivers." - Redbook 

Edward Albee was asked how long it takes him to write a play.
"It takes an entire life to write a play," said Albee, "but three months to get it down on paper."

Carol Tavris:
"For some of the large indignities of life, the best remedy is direct action. For the small indignities, the best remedy is a Charlie Chaplin movie. The hard part is knowing the difference."


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James (who is of an inquiring mind): "Ain't you getting tired of hearing people say, 'That is the beautiful Miss Taylor!'?"
Miss Taylor (a professional beauty): "Oh, no. I'm getting tired of hearing people say, 'Is that the beautiful Miss Taylor?'"

Chicken Talk

She: "No! I can't give you another dance. But I'll introduce you to the prettiest girl in the room!"
He: "But I don't want to dance with the prettiest girl in the room. I want to dance with you!"

Humor About Men

Lady (to doctor, who has volunteered to treat her pet dog): "And if you find you can't cure him, Doctor, will you please put him out of pain?—and of course you must charge me just as for an ordinary patient."

Other Humor & Jokes