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Humor About Men



Most men prefer looks to brains, because most men see better than they think.

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Three best friends are talking about problems at work. 
The first friend says: "I think my wife is having an affair with the electrician. The other day I came home and found wire cutters under our bed and they weren't mine." 
The second friend says: "I think my wife is having an affair with the plumber. The other day I found a wrench under the bed and it wasn't mine." 
The third friend says: "I think my wife is having an affair with a horse!" 
Both his friends look at him with utter disbelief. 
"No I'm serious. The other day I came home and found a jockey under our bed."
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JIM: "I see you keep copies of all the letters you write to your wife. Do you do it to avoid repeating yourself?"
JOHN: "No. To avoid contradicting myself."
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Executive overheard talking to a friend: " My wife tells me I don't display enough passion. Imagine! I have a good mind to send her a memo!"

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HABIT
"You say you are your wife's third husband?" said one man to another during a talk.
"No, I am her fourth husband," was the reply.
"Heavens, man!" said the first man; "you are not a husband—you're a habit."
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A traveling man who was a cigarette smoker reached town on an early train. He wanted a smoke, but none of the stores were open. Near the station he saw a newsboy smoking, and approached him with:
"Say, son, got another cigarette?"
"No, sir," said the boy, "but I've got the makings."
"All right," the traveling man said. "But I can't roll 'em very well. Will you fix one for me?"
The boy did.
"Don't believe I've got a match," said the man, after a search through his pockets.
The boy handed him a match. "Say, sir," he said "you ain't got anything but the habit, have you?"
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HUNTING
An amateur sportsman spent the day with dog and gun, but brought home no game. A friend twitted him with his failure:
"Didn't you shoot anything at all?"
The honest fellow nodded miserably. "I shot my dog."
"Why?" his questioner demanded. "Was he mad?"
The sportsman shook his head doubtfully.
"Not exactly mad," he asserted; "and not so darned tickled neither!"
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Deadlier Than the Male: Dangerously Witty Quotations by Women About Men - by Michelle Lovric
This is a delicious and decorative new look at the battle of the sexes--from the winner's point of view. Reccomend to anyone who like to laugh.