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Let's Hear It - Rhetoric Vol.1

CONSIDER one of the most perplexing questions of our time:
Where do' solutions go when a candidate gets elected?

He: "There is nothing like experience after all. She is our greatest politician."
She: "And there is nothing holding back her salary, either."

POLITICIANS often attack opponents' ideas as "mere rhetoric." The habit has given rhetoric a bad rap. In truth, rhetoric makes the most of a thought, dressing it for effectiveness. Who would quote the most famous lines of history and literature if it weren't for the artful way they were put? Can you recognize these famous lines with the rhetoric shaken out?


The originals: 
1. "Should I really live or what? That's the bottom line." 
1. "To be or not to be, that is the question."- William Shakespeare (Hamlet) 
2. "What I'm sorry about is that I can't die for my country two or three times, over and over." 
2. "I only regret that I have but one life to lose for my country."- Nathan Hale 
3. "I'll be back someday." 
3. "I shall return." -General Douglas MacArthur 
4. "Ask what you can do to help your country, not the other way around." 
4. "Ask not what your country can do for you; ask what you can do for your country." -John F. Kennedy
5. "The earth wasn't much of anything until God said, 'Lights!' and the lights came on. 'That's good!' He said." 
5."And the earth was without form, and void... And God said, Let there be light: and there was light. And God saw the light, that it was good." - Genesis 1:2-4
6. "It was the best time in history, but it was sort of bad too." Face it, rhetoric's not as "mere" as politicians seem to think. 
6."It was the best of times, it was the worst of times." -Charles Dickens (A Tale of Two Cities)

Polititics is a lot like religion. Except in politics, 
it's your opponent who confesses your sins.



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Now nature is not at variance with art, nor art with nature; they being both the servants of His providence. Art is the perfection of nature. Were the world now as it was the sixth day, there were yet a chaos. Nature hath made one world, and art another. In brief, all things are artificial; for nature is the art of God.—Sir Thomas Browne.

Golfers Humor


FRIEND: "So you're going to make it hot for that fellow who held up the bank, shot the cashier, and got away with the ten thousand?"

BANKER: "Yes, indeed. He was entirely too fresh. There's a decent way to do that, you know. If he wanted to get the money, why didn't he come into the bank and work his way up the way the rest of us did?"
Political Jokes
An older southern farmer first joined the Episcopal Church, then the Methodist and next the Baptist, where he remained. Questioned as to the reason for his church travels he responded:
"Well, suh, hit's this way: de 'Piscopals is gemmen, suh, but I couldn't keep up wid de answerin' back in dey church. De Methodis', dey always holdin' inquiry meetin', and I don't like too much inquirin' into. But de Baptis', suh, dey jes' dip and are done wid hit."