HUMOR
FROM COMEDIANS
|
|
Time
spend laughing
is time spent with the gods. (Japanese proverb)
|
|
| "According
to a recent study,"
reports Jay Leno, "ten percent of 'Star Trek' fans
meet
the psychological criteria for addiction. Deprived on their favourite
show,
some Trekkies display withdrawal symptoms similat to those of drug
addicts.
Of course the real difference is that drug adicts aren't nearly
as
annoying." |
|
| "I got
an answering machine
for my phone," says comedian Steven Wright. "Now when I'm not home and
somebody calls me up, they hear a recording of a busy signal. I
like
to leave messages before the beep." |
|
| "Someone
did a study of
the three most-often-heard phrases in New York City," says comedian
David
Latterman. "One is, 'Hey, taxi!' Two is,'What train do I take to get to
Bloomingdale's? And three is, 'Don't worry, it's only a flesh wound.' " |
|
| "A recent
study shows that
75 % of the body's heat escapes through the head," comments
comedian
Jerry Seinfeld. "I guess that means you could ski naked if you had a
good
hat." |
|
I saw
the most beautiful
cars in the window of a dealership recently," said comedian Corbett
Monica.
"A sales
man came out
and said: 'Come on in. They're bigger than ever and they last a
lifetime!'
Later I
learned he was
talking about the payments." |
|
| He asked
me if I knew what
time it was. I said, "Yes, but not right now." (Comedian Steven
Wright) |
|
| "Wayne
Gretzky is the
first person on a can of Campbell's Soup," says Jay Leno. "That makes
sense,
to put a hockey player on a can of soup. It's probably the only thing
you
can eat without teeth." |
|
|
|
|
|
|
