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Blonde
Questions & Answers
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Q: What
did the blonde's
mom say to her before the blonde's date?
A: If you're
not in bed
by 12, come home. |
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Q: What do
you get when
you offer a blonde a penny for her thoughts?
A: Change. |
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Q: How do
blonde brain cells
die?
A: Alone. |
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Q: How do
you make a blonde's
eyes light up?
A: Shine a
flashlight in
their ear. |
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Q:
How can you tell
if a blonde's been using the computer?
A: There's
white-out on
the screen. |
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Q: How can
you tell if another
blonde's been using the computer?
A: There's
writing on the
white-out. |
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Q: Why is
it good to have
a blonde passenger?
A: You can
park in the handicap
zone. |
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Q: Why
should blondes not
be given coffee breaks?
A: It
takes too long
to retrain them. |
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Q: What
was the blonde psychic's
greatest achievement?
A: An
IN-body experience! |
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Q: What do
you call it when
a blonde dies their hair brunette?
A: Artificial
intelligence. |
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Q: Why
don't blondes eat
pickles?
A: Because
they can't get
their head in the jar. |
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Q: Why
don't blondes eat
bananas?
A: They can't
find the zipper. |
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Q: What do
you call a blonde
with 2 brain cells?
A:
Pregnant. |
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Q: What
does a blonde put
behind her ears to make her more attractive?
A: Her
ankles. |
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Q: Why do
blondes wear hoop
earrings?
A: They have
to have some
place to rest their ankles. |
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Q: Why do
blondes where
big hoop earrings?
A: To put
their feet through. |
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Q:
What's the first thing a blonde does after sex?
A:
Opens the car door. |
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Q:
How does a blonde like her eggs in the morning?
A:
Fertilized. |
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Q: What is
the blonde's
chronic speech impediment?
A: She can't
say "No". |
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BACK
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Send
a link or joke to a friend
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AMUSEMENTS
A blonde defined amusements:
The Blonde Friends' picnic this year was not as well attended as
it has
been
for some years. This can be laid to three causes, viz.: the change of
place
in holding it, deaths in families, and other amusements. |
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"Our blonde neighbor seems to be very clever."
"Yes, indeed, she can even do the problems that her children have to
work out at school." |
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ANATOMY
BLONDE—"My gran'pa wuz in th' war, an' he lost a leg or a arm
in every battle he fit in!"
JOHNNY—"Gee! How
many battles was he in?"
BLONDE—"About
forty." |
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"Dear," said the young blonde wife, noticing how heartily
her husband was eating,
"do I cook as well as your mother did?"
Her husband put up his glasses, and stared at her through them.
"Once and for all, dear," he said, "I beg you will remember that
although
I may seem to be in reduced circumstances now, I come of an old and
distinguished car dealership family. My mother was not a cook." |
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A certain
theatrical troupe, after a dreary and unsuccessful tour,
finally arrived in a small New Jersey town. That night, though there
was
no furore or general uprising of the audience, there was enough
hand-clapping
to arouse the troupe's dejected spirits. The leading blonde stepped to
the
foot-lights after the first act and bowed profoundly. Still the
clapping
continued.
When she went behind the scenes she saw an Irish stagehand laughing
heartily.
"Well, what do you think of that?" asked the actress, throwing out her
chest.
"What d'ye mane?" replied the Irishman.
"Why, the hand-clapping out there," was the reply.
"Hand-clapping?"
"Yes," said the blonde, "they are giving me enough applause to
show
they appreciate me."
"D'ye call thot applause?" inquired the old fellow. "Whoi, thot's
not
applause. Thot's the audience killin' mosquitoes." |
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