How To Freak Out People While Ordering A Pizza Cont...
66. Be vague in your order. 
67. When they repeat your order, say "Again, with a little more OOMPH this time." 
68. If using a touch-tone press 9-1-1 every 5 seconds throughout the order. 
69. After ordering, say "I wonder what THIS button on the phone does." Simulate a cutoff. 
70. Start the conversation by reciting today's date and saying, "This may be my last entry." 
71. State your order and say that's as far as this relationship is going to get. 
72. Ask if they're familiar with the term "spanking a pizza."  Make up a description to go with the term.  Ask that this be done to your pizza. 
73. Say "Kssssssssssssssht" rather loudly into the phone.  Ask if they felt that. 
74. Detect the order taker's psychic aura.  Use it to your advantage. 
75. When listing toppings you want on your pizza, include another pizza.
76. Learn to play a blues riff on the harmonica. Stop talking at regular intervals to play it.
77. Ask if they would like to sample your pizza.  Suggest an even trade.
78. Perfect a celebrity's voice.  Stress that you won't take any crap from some two-bit can't-hack-it pimple-faced gofer. 
79. Order term life insurance. 
80. Teach the order taker a secret code. Use the code on all subsequent orders. 
81. Mumble, "There's a bomb under your seat."  When asked to repeat that, say "I said 'sauce smothered with meat'." 
82. Make the first topping you order mushrooms.  Make the last thing you say "No mushrooms, please."  Hang up before they have a chance to respond. 
83. When the order is repeated, change it slightly.  When it is repeated again, change it again.  On the third time, say "You just don't get it, do you?" 
84. When you'ge given the price, say "Ooooooo, that sounds complicated. I hate math." 
85. Haggle. 
86. Order a one-inch pizza.
87.  Put them on hold. 
88. When they say "Will that be all?", snicker and say "We'll find out, won't we?"
89. Order with a Speak-n-Spell where applicable. 
90. Ask how many dolphins were killed to make that pizza. 
91. While on the phone, fake entering puberty.  Fluctuate pitch often; act embarrassed.
92. Engage in some serious swapping. 
93. Dance all around the word "pizza." Avoid saying it at all costs.  If he/she says it, say "Please don't mention that word." 
94. Have a movie with a good car chase scene playing loudly in the 
background.  Yell "OW!" when a bullet is fired. 
95. If he/she suggests a side order, ask why he/she is punishing you. 
96. Ask if the pizza has had its shots.
97. Order a steamed pizza. 
98. Get taker's name.  Later, call exactly on the hour to say, "This is your (time of day) wake-up call, So-and-so."  Hang up. 
99. Offer to pay for the pizza with a public flogging. 
100. Ask if they have special service. If they ask what you mean, say, in your best pouty voice, "Last guy let me do it."



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