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Political
Humor & Jokes Vol.2
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| Crime
wouldn't pay if the Government ran it. |
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All babies start out with the same number
of raw
cells which, over
nine months, develop into a complete female baby. The problem occurs
when
cells are instructed by the little chromosomes to make a male baby
instead.
Because there are
only so many cells to go around, the cells necessary
to develop a male's reproductive organs have to come from cells already
assigned elsewhere in the female. Recent tests have shown that these
cells
are removed from the communications center of the brain, migrate lower
in the body and develop into male sexual organs.
If you visualize a
normal brain to be similar to a full deck of cards,
this means that males are born a few cards short, so to speak. And some
of their cards are in their shorts. This difference between the male
and
female brain manifests itself in various ways. Little girls will tend
to
play things like house or learn to read. Little boys, however, will
tend
to do things like placing a bucket over their heads and running into
walls.
Little girls will think about doing things before taking any action.
Little
boys will just punch or kick something and will look surprised if
someone
asks them why they just punched their little brother who was half
asleep
and looking the other way.
This basic cognitive difference continues
to grow until puberty, when
the hormones kick into action and the trouble really begins. After
puberty,
not only the size of the male and female brains differ, but the center
of thought also differs. Women think with their heads. Male thoughts
often
originate lower in their bodies where their ex-brain cells reside. Of
course,
the size of this problem varies from man to man. In some men only a
small
number of brain cells migrate and they are left with nearly full mental
capacity but they tend to be rather dull, sexually speaking. Such men are known in medical terms as "Republicans." Other
men suffer larger brain cell relocation. These men are medically
referred
to as "Democrats." A small number of men suffer massive brain
cell
migration to their groins. These men are usually referred to as..... "Mr.
President." |
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| "Bush fell off his bike while mountain
biking on his ranch over the weekend. He hit a rough spot in the trail.
There's a switch - the environment hurting Bush." -Jay Leno |
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Send
a link or joke to a friend
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Jim: "My uncle was owner of ten
stores. All the stores closed on the day my uncle died."
Jeff: "That's
nothing. My father is senator. All the banks closed for three weeks the
day
after my pa left town." |
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Butler: "At what time, Sir, would
you wish to dine as a
rule?"
New Politician:
"What time do the best people dine?"
Butler: "At
different times, Sir."
New Politician:
"Very well. Then I, too, will dine at different
times." |
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The
senator and the major were walking up the avenue. The senator
was
more than middle aged and considerably more than fat, and, dearly as
the
major loved him, he also loved his joke.
The senator turned with a pleased expression on his benign
countenance
and said, "Major, did you see that
pretty girl smile at me?"
"Oh, that's nothing,"
replied his friend. "The first time I
saw you
I laughed out loud!" |
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