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Political Humor & Jokes Vol.2

Crime wouldn't pay if the Government ran it.

All babies start out with the same number of raw cells which, over nine months, develop into a complete female baby. The problem occurs when cells are instructed by the little chromosomes to make a male baby instead.

Because there are only so many cells to go around, the cells necessary to develop a male's reproductive organs have to come from cells already assigned elsewhere in the female. Recent tests have shown that these cells are removed from the communications center of the brain, migrate lower in the body and develop into male sexual organs.

If you visualize a normal brain to be similar to a full deck of cards, this means that males are born a few cards short, so to speak. And some of their cards are in their shorts. This difference between the male and female brain manifests itself in various ways. Little girls will tend to play things like house or learn to read. Little boys, however, will tend to do things like placing a bucket over their heads and running into walls. Little girls will think about doing things before taking any action. Little boys will just punch or kick something and will look surprised if someone asks them why they just punched their little brother who was half asleep and looking the other way.

This basic cognitive difference continues to grow until puberty, when the hormones kick into action and the trouble really begins. After puberty, not only the size of the male and female brains differ, but the center of thought also differs. Women think with their heads. Male thoughts often originate lower in their bodies where their ex-brain cells reside. Of course, the size of this problem varies from man to man. In some men only a small number of brain cells migrate and they are left with nearly full mental capacity but they tend to be rather dull, sexually speaking. Such men are known in medical terms as "Republicans." Other men suffer larger brain cell relocation. These men are medically referred to as "Democrats." A small number of men suffer massive brain cell migration to their groins. These men are usually referred to as..... "Mr. President."

"Bush fell off his bike while mountain biking on his ranch over the weekend. He hit a rough spot in the trail. There's a switch - the environment hurting Bush." -Jay Leno



Send a link or joke to a friend
Jim: "My uncle was owner of ten stores. All the stores closed on the day my uncle died."

Jeff: "That's nothing. My father is senator. All the banks closed for three weeks the day after my pa left town."

Political Jokes

Butler: "At what time, Sir, would you wish to dine as a rule?"
New Politician: "What time do the best people dine?"
Butler: "At different times, Sir."
New Politician: "Very well. Then I, too, will dine at different times."

Golfers Humor

The senator and the major were walking up the avenue. The senator was more than middle aged and considerably more than fat, and, dearly as the major loved him, he also loved his joke.
The senator turned with a pleased expression on his benign countenance and said, "Major, did you see that pretty girl smile at me?"
"Oh, that's nothing," replied his friend. "The first time I saw you I laughed out loud!"