HUMOR
ABOUT DOGS VOL.4
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Comedian
Steven Wright
- About Dogs
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| I put
contact lenses
in my dog's eyes. They had little pictures of cats on them.
Then I took one out and he ran around in circles. |
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I bought a
dog the other
day... I named him Stay. It's fun to call him...
"Come here,
Stay!
Come here, Stay!" He went insane. Now he just ignores me
and
keeps typing. He's an East German Shepherd. |
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| I
spilled spot remover
on my dog. He's gone now. |
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| The other
day, I was walking
my dog around my building... on the ledge. Some people are
afraid of heights. Not me, I'm afraid of widths. |
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PLAYING
CARDS
A man walked
by a table in a
hotel and noticed three men and a dog playing cards. The dog was
playing
with extraordinary performance.
"This is a
very smart dog,"
the man commented.
"Not so
smart," said one
of the players. "Every time he gets a good hand he wags his tail." |
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GONE
The front door
was accidentally
left open and dog was gone.
After
unsuccessfully whistling
and calling, dog owner got in the car and went looking for him. He
drove
around the neigbourhood for some time with no luck. Finally he stopoed
beside a couple out for a walk and asked if they had seen his dog. "You
mean the one following your car?" they asked. |
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WATCHDOG
A family moved
from the city
to a suburban locality and were told that they should get a watchdog to
guard the premises at night. So they bought the largest dog that was
for
sale in the kennels of a neighboring dog fancier, who was a German.
Shortly
afterward the house was entered by burglars who made a good haul, while
the big dog slept. The man went to the dog fancier and told him about
it.
"Veil, vat you
need now,"
said the dog merchant, "is a leedle dog to wake up the big dog." |
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