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HUMOR
ABOUT DOGS VOL.1
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HELP
WANTED
A local
business was looking
for office help.They put a sign in the window, stating the
following:
"HELP WANTED.
Must be able
to type, must be good with a computer and must be bilingual. We are an
Equal Opportunity Employer."
A short time
afterwards,
a dog trotted up to the window, saw the sign and went inside. He looked
at the receptionist and wagged his tail, then walked over to the sign,
looked at it and whined. Getting the idea, the receptionist got the
office
manager. The office manager looked at the dog and was surprised, to say
the least. However, the dog looked determined, so he lead him into the
office. Inside, the dog jumped up on the chair and stared at the
manager.
The manager said "I can't hire you. The sign says you have to be able
to
type." The dog jumped down, went to the typewriter and proceeded
to type out a perfect letter. He took out the page and trotted over to
the manager and gave it to him, then jumped back on the chair. The
manager
was stunned, but then told the dog "the sign says you have to be good
with
a computer." The dog jumped down, went to the computer and proceeded to
enter and execute a perfect program, that worked flawlessly the first
time.The
manager was totally surprised. He looked at the dog and said "I realize
that you are a very intelligent dog and have very interesting
abilities.
However, I can't give you the job." The dog jumped down and went to a
copy
of the sign and put his paw on the sentences that told about being an
Equal
Opportunity Employer. The manager said "yes, but the sign also says
that
you have to be bilingual." The dog looked at the manager calmly and
said,
"Meow!” |
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THE
CIVIL SERVANTS'
DOGS
Four workers
were discussing
how smart their dogs were. The first was an engineer who said his dog
could
draw. His dog's name was "T-Square", and he told him to get some paper
and draw a square, a circle and a triangle, which he did with no
sweat.
The accountant
said he thought
his dog, "Balance", could do better. He told him to fetch a dozen
cookies
and divide them into piles of three, which he did with no problem.
The chemist
said that was
a very good stunt, but that his dog, "Apothecary", could do better
yet.
He told his dog to get a quart of milk and pour seven ounces into a ten
ounce glass. Apothecary did this without a hitch.
All three men
agreed their
dogs were equally smart.
They turned to
the Civil
Servant and asked him what his dog could do. The Civil Servant called
his
dog, whose name was "Coffee break", and said, "Show the fellows what
you
can do, old buddy." Coffee Break then strolled over and ate the
cookies,
drank the milk, shit on the paper, screwed the other three dogs and
claimed
he injured his back while doing so. He then filed a grievance for
unsafe
conditions, applied for Workers' Compensation, and left for home on
sick
leave. |
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BRUSHING
VISITOR—"Why
are you giving
Fido's teeth such a thorough brushing?"
DOG
OWNER—"Oh! The poor darling's
just bitten some horrid person, and, really, you know, one can't be too
careful."
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