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KIDS HUMOR 3

Sign for diaper service: "Bum Wraps."
SPELLING

THE teacher announced that to practice spelling, each member of the class would say what their fathers did for a living and then spell the occupation. 

Mary went first. "My Dad is a baker, b-a-k-e-r, and if he were here, he would give everyone a cookie." 

Next came Tommy. "My dad is a banker, b-a-n-k-e-r, and if he were here, he'd give each of us a quarter." 

Third came Jimmy. "My dad is an electrician.'' But after struggling through a number of attempts to spell the word, the teacher asked him to sit and think about it for a moment while she called on someone else. She then turned to Johnny. 

"My dad's a bookie, b-o-o-k-i-e," Johnny said. "And if he were here, he'd lay you 8 to 5 that Jimmy ain't never gonnaspell electrician." 

Is your mother home?

"Is your mother home?" the salesman asked a small boy sitting on the steps in front of a house. "Yeah, she's home," the boy said, scooting over to let him past. The salesman rang the doorbell, got no response, knocked once, then again. Still no one came to the door. Turning to the boy, the fellow said, "I thought you said your mother was home." The kid replied, "She is; but this isn't where I live. 

VISION

A mother of two teenage boys, was constantly being asked to look for things they couldn't find. Most of the time these items were directly in front of them. 

Seeing her frustration over this when it happened yet again, one of her sons remarked: "It's not my fault, Mom. I don't have 'parental vision." 

AFTER STORM

A whole family was caught in a small boat during a sudden storm off the shores of Florida, but towed to safety in Fort Lauderdale by the ever alert U.S. Coast Guard. 

"I always knew God would take care of us," said the composed five year old daughter of the boat owner after the family got home. 

"I like to hear you say that," beamed the mother. "Always remember that God is in His heaven watching over us." 

"Oh, I wasn't talking about THAT God," the five year old interrupted. "I was talking about the COAST God." 


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DEFINITION

The student, after profound thought, wrote this definition of the word "spine," at his teacher's request.

"A spine is a long, limber bone. Your head sets on one end and you set on the other."
Law Humor

Little Ken had a habit of dropping in at the house next door on baking day, for the woman of that house had a deft way in the making of cookies, and Ken had no hesitation in enjoying her hospitality, even to the extent of asking for cookies if they were not promptly forthcoming.

When the boy's father learned of this, he gave Ken a lecture and a strict order never to ask for cookies at the neighbor's kitchen. So, when a few days later the father saw his son munching a cookie as he came away from the next house, he spoke sternly:

"Have you been begging cookies again?"

"Oh, no, I didn't beg any," Ken answered cheerfully. "I just said, this house smells as if it was full of cookies. But what's that to me?"

Golfers Humor
A high school student asked his teacher if a person should be punish for something he hadn't done. 

"No," said the teacher. "Of course not," 

"Good." said the boy. "I haven't done my homework."