By Advertisers and
on Sign-boards
The old sign at Abraham Lowe's inn, Douglas,
Isle of Man, was accompanied by
this quaint verse:
"I'm
Abraham Lowe, and half way up the hill,
If I were higher up wat's
funnier still,
I should be Lowe. Come in
and take your fill
Of porter, ale, wine,
spirits what you will.
Step in, my friend, I pray
no further go,
My prices, like myself, are
always low."
FROM OLD SIGN BOARDS:
Two young women
want washing.
* * *
Teeth extracted with great pains.
* * *
Babies taken and finished in ten minutes by
a country
photographer.
* * *
Wood and coal split. Please call...
* * *
Wanted, a female who has a knowledge of
fitting boots of a good
moral character.
* * *
For sale, a handsome piano, the property of
a young lady who is leaving
Scotland in a walnut case with turned legs.
* * *
To be sold, a splendid gray horse,
calculated for a charger, or would
carry a lady with a switch tail.
* * *
Wanted, a young man to take charge of horses
of a religious turn of
mind.
* * *
On a vacant lot back of Covington, Kentucky,
was posted this interesting sign board:
"No
plane base Boll on these Primaces."
* * *
Old notice in a Hoboken ferry-boat:
"The seats in this cabin are reserved
for ladies. Gentlemen are requested not to occupy them until the ladies
are seated."
* * *
A baker displays the sign, "Family Baking
Done Here." The sign would
look more appropriate if it were in front of some of our "cool and
well-ventilated" summer-resort hotels.
* * *
A family restaurant displays this sign:
"Oyster pies open all night," and
"Coffee and cakes off the griddle."
* * *
An old photographer's sign reads:
"This style 3 pictures finished in fifteen
minutes while you wait for twenty-five cents beautifully colored."
* * *
Among antique carriages to be disposed of,
mention is made of "a mail phaeton,
the property of a gentleman with a moveable head as good as new."
* * *
From and old sign in a Pennsylvania town:
"John Smith, teacher of
cowtillions and other dances—grammar taut in the neatest manner—fresh
salt herrin on draft—likewise Goodfreys cordjial—rutes sassage and
other garden truck—N. B. bawl on friday nite—prayer meetin
chuesday—also salme singing by the quire."
* * *
The following notice appeared on the fence
of a vacant lot in Brooklyn:
"All persons are forbidden to throw ashes on this lot under
penalty of
the law or any other garbage."
* * *
A barber's sign in Buffalo: "This is the
place
for physiognomical hair-cutting and ecstatic shaving and
shampooing."
* * *
An old San Francisco black man of poetic
aspirations, proclaims his
superior skill in the following lines, pasted over the door of his
establishment:
"No day was e'er so bright,
So black was never a night,
As will your boots be, if
you get
Them blacked right in here,
you bet!"
* * *
The following appears on an old Welsh
shoemaker's sign-board: "Pryce Dyas
Coblar, dealer in Bacco Shag and Pig Tail Bacon and Ginarbread, Eggs
laid by me, and very good Paradise in the summer, Gentlemen and Lady
can
have good Tae and Crumpets and Straw berry with a scim milk, because I
can't get no cream. N. B. Shuse and Boots mended very well."
* * *
From an old Irish inn:
"Within this hive we're all alive,
With whiskey sweet as honey;
If you are dry, step in and
try,
But don't forget your
money."
* * *
An old inn near
London had a board with the following
inscription:
"Call—Softly,
Drink Moderately,
Pay Honourably;
Be good Company,
Part FRIENDLY,
Go HOME quietly.
Let those lines be no MAN'S sorrow,
Pay to DAY and i'll TRUST tomorrow."
* * *
INTERESTING
ADVERTISING :
A lady advertises her desire for a husband
"with a Roman nose having
strong religious tendencies."
Wanted, a young man to look after a horse of
the Methodist
persuasion.
Wanted, an accomplished poodle nurse. Wages,
$500 a week.
In the far West a man advertises for a woman: "to wash, iron and milk
one
or two cows."
An advertiser, having made an advantageous purchase, offers for sale,
on
very low terms, "six dozen of prime port wine, late the property of a
gentleman forty years of age, full of body, and with a high
bouquet."
A steamboat-captain, in advertising for an excursion, closes thus:
"Tickets, $25; children half price, to be had at the captain's
office."
An old English matrimonial advertisement reads as follows: "A young man
about 25 years of Age, in a very good trade, whose Father will make him
worth £1000, would willingly embrace a suitable MATCH. He has
been
brought up a Dissenter with his Parents, and is a sober man."
Interesting advertising from an old local newspaper: "A landlady,
innocent of grammatical knowledge, advertises that she has
"a fine, airy, well-furnished bedroom for a gentleman twelve feet
square"; another has "a cheap and desirable suit of rooms for a
respectable family in good repair"; still another has "a hall bedroom
for a single woman 8 × 12."
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