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Humor About Men Vol.2
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PAST DEEDS
Three friends
Bob, Jim, Sam and
his wife, were involved
in a tragic
car accident in which all of them died.
As they stood at the gates of
heaven
St. Peter came up to them and said: "You will all be given a method of
transportation for your eternal use around heaven. You will be judged
on
your past deeds, and will have your transport chosen accordingly."
St.
Peter looked at Bob and said, "You, Bob, were a bad man. You cheated on
your wife four times! For this, you will drive around Heaven in an old
beat up Dodge."
Next St. Peter looked at Jim and said, "You, were not
so
evil, but you still cheated on your wife two times. For this, you will
forever travel around heaven in a Toyota station wagon."
St. Peter
finally
looked at Sam, and said, "You, Sam, have set a fine example. You did
not
have sex until after marriage, and you never cheated on your wife! For
this, you will forever travel through heaven in a Ferrari."
A short time later, Jon and Dave pulled up in their cars next to Sam's
Ferrari and there he is, sitting on the hood, head in hands,
crying.
"What's wrong, Sam?" they asked. "You got the Ferrari! You are set
forever! Why so down?" Sam looked up, ever so slowly opened his mouth
and
cried, "I just saw my wife go by on a skate board."
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NICE GESTURE
Two men are
playing golf when a
funeral procession passes on the street
next to the green. One of the men takes of his hat and holds it to his
heart.
When the procession has passed the other one says: 'That was a
nice
gesture of you'.
'Well', the first says, after twenty years of marriage that's the least
I could do for her'.
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WIFE
Some young skeptic in the congregation
interrupted Evangelist
with
the question:
"Who was Cain's wife?"
The Evangelist answered in all seriousness:
"I honor every seeker after knowledge of the truth. But I have a
word of
warning for this questioner. Don't risk losing salvation by too much
inquiring after other men's wives." |
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SPIRITUALISTIC MOMENTS
A widow visited a spiritualistic medium,
who satisfactorily
produced
the deceased husband for a domestic chat.
"Dear John," the widow questioned eagerly, "are you happy now?"
"I am very happy," the spook assured her.
"Happier than you were on earth with me?" the widow continued,
greatly
impressed.
"Yes," John asserted, "I am far happier now than I was on earth with
you."
"Oh, do tell me, John," the widow cried rapturously, "what is it
like in
heaven?"
"Heaven!" the answer snapped. "I ain't in heaven!" |
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WORMS
A country girl was home from college for
the Christmas holidays and
the old folks were having a reception in her honor. During the event
she
brought out some of her new gowns to show to the guests. Picking up a
beautiful
silk creation she held it up before the admiring crowd.
"Isn't this perfectly gorgeous!" she exclaimed. "Just think, it came
from a poor little insignificant worm!"
Her hard-working father looked a moment, then he turned and said:
"Yes,
darn it, an' I'm that worm!" |
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