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Humor About Men Vol.2

Three friends Bob, Jim, Sam and his wife, were involved in a tragic car accident in which all of them died.

As they stood at the gates of heaven St. Peter came up to them and said: "You will all be given a method of transportation for your eternal use around heaven. You will be judged on your past deeds, and will have your transport chosen accordingly."

St. Peter looked at Bob and said, "You, Bob, were a bad man. You cheated on your wife four times! For this, you will drive around Heaven in an old beat up Dodge."

Next St. Peter looked at Jim and said, "You, were not so evil, but you still cheated on your wife two times. For this, you will forever travel around heaven in a Toyota station wagon."

St. Peter finally looked at Sam, and said, "You, Sam, have set a fine example. You did not have sex until after marriage, and you never cheated on your wife! For this, you will forever travel through heaven in a Ferrari."

A short time later, Jon and Dave pulled up in their cars next to Sam's Ferrari and there he is, sitting on the hood, head in hands, crying. 
"What's wrong, Sam?" they asked. "You got the Ferrari! You are set forever! Why so down?" Sam looked up, ever so slowly opened his mouth and cried, "I just saw my wife go by on a skate board."

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Two men are playing golf when a funeral procession passes on the street next to the green. One of the men takes of his hat and holds it to his heart.

When the procession has passed the other one says: 'That was a nice gesture of you'.

'Well', the first says, after twenty years of marriage that's the least I could do for her'.



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Some young skeptic in the congregation interrupted Evangelist with the question:
"Who was Cain's wife?"
The Evangelist answered in all seriousness:
"I honor every seeker after knowledge of the truth. But I have a word of warning for this questioner. Don't risk losing salvation by too much inquiring after other men's wives."
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A widow visited a spiritualistic medium, who satisfactorily produced the deceased husband for a domestic chat.
"Dear John," the widow questioned eagerly, "are you happy now?"
"I am very happy," the spook assured her.
"Happier than you were on earth with me?" the widow continued, greatly impressed.
"Yes," John asserted, "I am far happier now than I was on earth with you."
"Oh, do tell me, John," the widow cried rapturously, "what is it like in heaven?"
"Heaven!" the answer snapped. "I ain't in heaven!"
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A country girl was home from college for the Christmas holidays and the old folks were having a reception in her honor. During the event she brought out some of her new gowns to show to the guests. Picking up a beautiful silk creation she held it up before the admiring crowd.
"Isn't this perfectly gorgeous!" she exclaimed. "Just think, it came from a poor little insignificant worm!"
Her hard-working father looked a moment, then he turned and said: "Yes, darn it, an' I'm that worm!"