Humor About Men Vol.3

That's Great!
After 20 years two college rivals bumped into each other.
"Do you remember how I used to be so fat and flabby?'' asked the first. "Well, I've been on an exercise program for a few years, and now I run marathons." 
"That's great!" replied the other man. 
"And," the first man continued, "do you remember how I used to be shy and a poor student? Well, I took a course in public speaking, and now I make hundreds of thousands of dollars a year on the lecture circuit." 
"That's great!" came the reply. 
"Oh, and how about you." the first man inquired. "Have you changed at all?" 
"Yes, I have," said the second man. 
"Remember how brutally honest I used to be, and how when someone said something uninteresting, I would reply, 'I couldn't care less'? Well, now I just say,  'That's great !'"
 
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Two Penguins
A man drives into a gas station and has his tank filled up. While doing this the clerk spots two penguins sitting on the back seat of the car. He asks the driver what he's up to with the two penguins on his back seat.

The driver had asked himself that same question but he wouldn't know what to do.

Clerk: "You should take them to the zoo". The man thinks this is a good idea and  drives away. The next day he arrives at that same gas station.

Clerk: "I thought you would take them to the zoo!". Driver: "Yes, we had a swell day yesterday. Today I'm taking them to the beach".


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PROMISSES
At our entry into the War, a popular young man enlisted and before setting forth for camp in his uniform made a round of farewell calls. The girl who first received him made an insistent demand:
"You'll think of me every single minute when you're in those stupid old trenches!"
"Every minute," he agreed solemnly.
"And you'll kiss my picture every night."
"Twice a night," he vowed, with the girl's pretty head on the shoulder of the new uniform coat.
"And you'll write me long, long letters?" she pleaded.
"I'll write every spare minute," he assured her, "and if I haven't any spare minutes, I'll take 'em anyhow."
After a tender interval punctuated with similar ardent promises, he went away from there, and called on another girl.
In fact, he called on ten separate and distinct pretty girls, and each of them was tender and sought his promises, which he gave freely and ardently and when it was all done with, he communed with himself somewhat sadly.
"I do hope," he said wearily, "there won't be much fighting to do over there—for I'm going to be awfully busy."