Travel Alaska

Humor About Men Vol.1

Jim has been in the computer business for 25 years and is finally sick of the stress. He quits his job and buys 50 acres of land in country as far from humanity as possible. 
Jim sees the postman once a week and gets groceries once a month. Otherwise it's total peace and quiet. After six months or so of almost total isolation, he's finishing dinner when someone knocks on his door. He opens it and there is a big, bearded local man standing there. " I'm... Your neighbour from four miles over the ridge... Having a party Saturday... thought you'd like to come." 
"Great," says Jim, "after six months of this I'm ready to meet some local folks. Thank you."
As local man is leaving he stops, "Gotta warn you there's gonna be some drinkin." "Not a problem... after 25 years in the computer business, I can do that with the best of them." 
Again, as he starts to leave local man stops. "More 'n' likely gonna be some fightin, too." 
Damn, Jim thinks... tough crowd. "Well, I get along with people. I'll be there. Thanks again." Once again local man turns from the door. "I've seen some wild sex at these parties, too." 
"Now that's not a problem" says Jim, "Remember I've been alone for six months! I'll definitely be there ... by the way, what should I wear to the party?" The local man stops in the door again and says "Whatever you want, it's just gonna be the two of us."

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Two friends were walking their dogs in the park when one suggested stopping at a bar for a drink. 

"But we can't go in there," said the second guy. "They won't let us bring our dogs in." 

"Don't worry about it," replied the first guy. "Just follow my lead." And into the bar he walked with his Doberman. 
"Hey," the bartender yelled. "you can't bring that dog in here!" 
"But I'm blind," said the first guy. "This is my Seeing Eye dog." 
Satisfied, the bartender seated him, and just then the other guy came in with his little Pekingese in tow. Again the bartender announced that dogs weren't allowed.
"But I'm blind," said the second man. "This is my Seeing Eye dog." 

The bartender took a long look at the dog. "That Pekingese is your Seeing Eye dog?" he asked incredulously. 

"What?" said the second man. "They gave me a Pekingese?"



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When wealthy Scottish farmer was asked by poor Irish farmer if he can borrow his ass, Scottish farmer replied that he had already loaned the animal. Thereupon, the honest creature brayed from the stable. "But the ass is there," the poor Irish farmer cried indignantly. "I hear it!" Scottish farmer retorted indignantly: "What! Would you take the word of an ass instead of mine?"
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Mark was visiting his cousin in jail: "Why you are in jail Robert?" he asked.

"Why, it was just nothing at all," the convicted relative explained easily. "I was strolling along the edge of the canal, when I happened to catch sight of a bit of old rope. Of course, I knew that old piece of rope was of no use to anyone, and so I just picked it up, and took it home with me.

"But I don't understand," Mark exclaimed. "Why should they punish you so severely for a little thing like that? I don't understand it."

"I don't understand it, either," his  declared, "unless, maybe, it was because there was a horse at the other end of the rope."
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What Men Don't Want Women to Know: The Secrets, the Lies, the Unspoken Truth
by Smith & Doe Staff
"If a man is given the opportunity to engage in sexual relations with an attractive female, with no fear of getting caught and little risk of transmitted diseases, he will do so. Always. Without fail. There are no exceptions."
An unvarnished, no holds barred look into the mind of the male animal -- his sexual fantasies, the secrets he keeps and the lies he tells when it comes to sex and fidelity, and what he will and won't do for love.