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Chaotic English

I Have A Spelling Checker

Eye halve a spelling chequer
It came with my pea sea
It plain lee marques four my revue
Miss steaks eye kin knot sea.

Eye strike a key and type a word
And weight four it two say
Weather eye am wrong oar write
It shows me strait a weigh.

As soon as a mist ache is maid
It nose bee fore two long
And eye can put the error rite
Its rarely ever wrong.

A chequer is a bless sing,
It freeze yew lodes of thyme
It helps me right awl stiles two reed
And aides me when aye rime.

Each frays come posed up on my screen
Eye trussed too bee a joule
The checker pours o'er every word
To cheque sum spelling rule.

Eye have run this poem threw it
I am shore your please two no
Its letter perfect in it's weigh
My chequer tolled me sew.

- Author unknown

“Passengers are not requested to let down the chains, before the boat is fastened to the bridge.” [From a printed regulation on one of the New-York and Brooklyn ferry-boats.]

The reading should be, “Passengers are requested not to let down the chains.”

* * *

“It is I who is to receive the appointment:” say, who am to receive; who is in the first person, and the verb of which it is the subject must be in the same.

* * *

“Vegetables were plenty,” should be, Vegetables were plentiful.

* * *

“I was some distance from home,” should be, I was at some distance from home.

* * *

“Go over the bridge,” should be, Go across the bridge.

* * *

“It is above a month since,” should be, It is more than a month since.

* * *

“This is the more perfect of the two:” say, More complete. Perfect rarely admits comparison.

* * *

“He spoke contemptibly of him,” should be, He spoke contemptuously of him.

* * *

“Was you?” should be, Were you?

* * *

“Many still die annually from the plague:” say, of the plague.

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