Other Humor & Jokes

Travel Alaska


 Kissing a Smoker is like Licking an Ashtray.
 "Suicide Hotline...please hold."
 As long as there are tests, there will be prayers in school.
 First rule of intelligent tinkering - save all the parts.
 Money Isn't Everything, But it Sure Keeps the Kids In Touch.
 Hung Up and Drive.
 People are always available for work in the past tense.
 Eat Well, Stay Fit, Die Anyway.
 Never count your chickens before they rip your lips off.
 If Men Could Have Abortions, It Would Be a Sacrament.
 A friend in need is a pain in the neck.
 No Matter Where You Go, There You Are.
 The best way to win an argument is to be right.
 Forget the Whales, Save the Cowboy.
Woman was God's second mistake.
 Eat American Lamb. Ten Million Coyotes Can't be Wrong.
 I'm From the Government. I'm Here to Help You.
 Black Holes Suck.
 Have You Hugged Your Stockbroker Today?
 Use Caution in Passing - Driver Chewing Tobacco
 Scixelsyd Etinu. [Read Backwards]
 I'm OK. You're So-So.
OUT TO LUNCH - If not back at five, OUT TO DINNER!
 There are no new sins - the old ones just get more publicity.
 When going ice skating, never judge a brook by its cover.
 Sure you can trust the government! Just ask an Indian!
 One man's loss is another man's umbrella.
 "Telling an Old Person He's Useless Is Abortion on the Other End"
Going out of my mind, back in 5 minutes.



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"There is probably no hell for authors in the next world—they suffer so much from critics and publishers in this."—Bovee.
On Kids Way
"What you want to do is to have that mudhole in the road fixed," said the visitor. "That goes to show," replied Farmer, "how little you reformers understand local conditions. I've purty nigh paid off a mortgage with the money I made haulm' automobiles out o' that mud-hole."
Political Jokes
The professor, who was famous for the wool-gathering of his wits, returned home, and had his ring at the door answered by a new maid. The girl looked at him inquiringly.

"Um—ah—is Professor Johnson at home?" he asked, naming himself.

"No, sir," the maid replied, "but he is expected any moment now."

"Can I wait for him in the house?"

"No, sir," the maid replied, "lady of the house has rule not to let strangers in the house when she is not home, but she will be home soon."

The professor turned away, the girl closed the door. Then the poor man sat down on the steps to wait for himself. 
Wedding & Marriage Humor