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Stupid Men Jokes Vol.1


QUESTION: Why are men like trains?
ANSWER: They always stop before you get off.

TALKING SENSE

"Darling," he asked, as he drew his fiancée closer to him, "am I the first man you have ever kissed?"
"Dear," replied the American girl, somewhat testily, "before we go any further I would like to ask you a few questions. You are, no doubt, fully aware that my father is a millionaire something like ten times over, aren't you?"
"Y-yes."
"You understand, no doubt, that when he dies all of his vast fortune will be left to me?"
"Y-yes."
"You know that I have a four million dollars in cash in my name at the bank?"
"Y-yes."
"And own two and a half million dollars' worth of property?"
"Y-yes."
"That my diamonds are insured to the value of a two million dollars?"
"Y-yes."
"My horses and motor-cars are worth over million dollars?"
"Y-yes."
"Then, for goodness' sake, talk sense! What difference would it make to you if I had been kissed by a thousand men before I met you?"


SO DIFFERENT

She:
"I shall never find anyone else like you. You see, you're so different from other men."
He: "Oh, but you'll find lots of other men different from other men."

QUESTION: Why is it so hard for women to find men that are sensitive, caring and good-looking?
ANSWER: Because all those men already have boyfriends.


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Questioning a class, an inspector asked:
"If you were to say to me, 'You was here yesterday,' would that be right?"
"No, sir," was the reply.
"And why not?"
"Please, sir, because you wasn't."

Wedding & Marriage Humor

Mother: "That gentleman who is being introduced to our doughter is a free thinker."
Father: "Which is he, a bachelor or a widower?"

Stupid Man Jokes

The cross-eyed man at the ball bowed with courtly grace, and said:
"May I have the pleasure of this dance?"
Two portraits answered as with one voice:
"With pleasure."