Stupid Men Jokes Vol. 6

He: "The way those people flaunt their money fairly makes me ill."
She: "Sour grapes always did have that effect."


Successful Poultry Farmer: "You'd be surprised what a difference these incubators make. We can hatch out two or three hundred chicks every week."
Champion Dog Breeder: "Good gracious! How ever do you manage to find names for them all?"

Father: "Well, son, you certainly made a fool of yourself! That girl robbed you of every cent you had."
Son: "Well, dad, you have to hand it to me for picking them clever."


The Leading Actress: "How does George rank as an actor?"
The Comedian: "He doesn't—he is."

Mother: "Oh, John, why do you wipe your mouth with the back of your hand?"
John: "'Cos it's so much cleaner than the front."

He: "My train goes in fifteen minutes. Can you not give me one ray of hope before I leave you forever?"
She: "Er—that clock is half an hour fast."

"What's the matter with John? Got lumbago or spinal curvature or something?" "No; he has to walk that way to fit some shirts his new wife made for him."

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The crowd in the bus was packed suffocatingly close. The timid passenger thought of pickpockets, and thrust his hand into pocket protectingly. He was startled to encounter the fist of a fat fellow-passenger.
"I caught you that time!" the fat man hissed.
"Thief yourself!" snorted the timid passenger. "Scumbag!"
"Scoundrel!" shouted the fat man.
"Help! Stop thief!" the little fellow spluttered, trying to wrench his hand from the other's clasp. As the bus halted, the tall man next the two disputants spoke sharply:
"I want to get off here, if you dubs will be good enough to take your hands out of my pocket."

Other Humor & Jokes

The recruit complained to the sergeant that he'd got a splinter in his finger.
"Ye should have more sinse," was the harsh comment, "than to scratch your head."