Get All Travel Info



A lawyer was shopping for a tombstone. After he had made his selection, the stonecutter asked him what inscription he would like on it.
"Here lies an honest man and a lawyer," responded the lawyer. 
"Sorry, but I can't do that," replied the stonecutter. 
"In this state, it's against the law to bury two people in the same grave. However, I could put "Here lies an honest lawyer" "But that won't let people know who it is," protested the lawyer. 
"Certainly will," retorted the stonecutter. "People will read it and exclaim, "That's Strange!" 


Two guys, Bob and Rob, set out in a Hot Air balloon to cross the Atlantic Ocean. After 40 hours in the air, Bob says: "Rob, we better lose some altitude so we can see where we are". 
Rob lets out some of the hot air in the balloon, and the balloon descends to below the cloud cover. 
Bob says, "I still can't tell where we are, lets ask that guy on the ground". 
So Bob yells down to the man "Hey, could you tell us where we are?". 
And the man on the ground yells back "You're in a balloon, 100 feet up in the air". Bob turns to Rob and says "That man must be a lawyer". 
And Rob says "How can you tell that?". 
Bob says: "Because the advice he gave us is 100% accurate, and totally useless". 


A judge in a small city was hearing a drunk-driving case and the defendant, who had both a record and a reputation for driving under the influence, demanded a jury trial. It was nearly 4:30 p.m. and getting a jury would take time, so the judge called a recess and went out in the hall looking to impanel anyone available for jury duty. He found a dozen lawyers in the main lobby and told them that they were a jury. The lawyers thought this would be a novel experience and so followed the judge back to the courtroom.
The trial was over in about 10 minutes and it was very clear that the defendant was guilty. The jury went into the jury-room, the judge started getting ready to go home, and everyone waited. After nearly three hours, the judge was totally out of patience and sent the bailiff into the jury-room to see what was holding up the verdict. When the bailiff returned, the judge said, "Well have they got a verdict yet?" The bailiff shook his head and said, "Verdict? Hell, they're still doing nominating speeches for the foreman's position!" 


Send a link or joke to a friend
A lawyer having offices in a large office building recently lost a cuff-link, one of a pair that he greatly prized. Being absolutely certain that he had dropped the link somewhere in the building he posted this notice:
"Lost. A gold cuff-link. The owner, William Ward, will deeply appreciate its immediate return."
That afternoon, on passing the door whereon this notice was posted, what were the feelings of the lawyer to observe that appended thereto were these lines:
"The finder of the missing cuff-link would deem it a great favor if the owner would kindly lose the other link."
Golfers Humor
The lawyer explained to the client his scale of prices:
"I charge one hundred dollars for advising you as to just what the law permits you to do. For giving you advice as to the way you can safely do what the law forbids, my minimum fee is one thousand dollars."
Law Humor
There was a town jail, and there was a county jail. The fact was worth hundred dollars to the lawyer who was approached by an old man in behalf of a son languishing in duress. The lawyer surveyed the tattered client as he listened, and decided that he would be lucky to obtain a fifty-dollar fee. He named that amount as necessary to secure the prisoner's release. Thereupon, the old man drew forth a large roll of bills, and peeled off a ten. The lawyer's greedy eyes popped.
"What jail is your son in?" he inquired craftily.
"In the county jail."
"In the county jail!" was the exclamation in a tone of dismay. "That's bad—very bad. It will cost you at least two hundred dollars."