|
|
|
LAWYER
JOKES VOL.7
|
|
THEFT
CHARGE
An elderly
man with a long
career in theft, charged with the theft of some chickens, had the
misfortune
to be defended by a young and inexperienced attorney, although it is
doubtful
whether anyone could have secured his acquittal, the commission of the
crime having been proved beyond all doubt.
The man
received a pretty
severe sentence. "Thank you, sah," said he cheerfully, addressing the
judge
when the sentence had been pronounced. "Dat's mighty hard, sah, but it
ain't anywhere what I 'spected. I thought, sah, dat between my
character
and dat speech of my lawyer dat you'd hang me, shore!"
|
|
|
WARRANT
A man was
charged with stealing
a horse, and after a long trial the jury acquitted him. Later in the
day
the man came back and asked the judge for a warrant against the lawyer
who had successfully defended him.
"What's the
charge?" inquired
the judge.
"Why, Your
Honor," replied
the man, "you see, I didn't have the money to pay him his fee, so he
took
the horse I stole."
|
|
|
FRIENDS
A lawyer
cross-examining a witness,
asked him where he was on a particular day; to which he replied that he
had been in the company of two friends. "Friends.'" exclaimed his
tormentor;
"two thieves, I suppose." "They may be so," replied the witness, dryly,
"for they are both lawyers." |
|
|
BURGLARY
"Did youse git
anyt'ing?" whispered
the burglar on guard as his pal emerged from the window.
"Naw, de bloke
wot lives
here is a lawyer," replied the other in disgust.
"Dat's hard
luck," said
the first; "did youse lose anyt'ing?" |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
