An elderly man with a long career in theft, charged with the theft of some chickens, had the misfortune to be defended by a young and inexperienced attorney, although it is doubtful whether anyone could have secured his acquittal, the commission of the crime having been proved beyond all doubt.

The man received a pretty severe sentence. "Thank you, sah," said he cheerfully, addressing the judge when the sentence had been pronounced. "Dat's mighty hard, sah, but it ain't anywhere what I 'spected. I thought, sah, dat between my character and dat speech of my lawyer dat you'd hang me, shore!"


A man was charged with stealing a horse, and after a long trial the jury acquitted him. Later in the day the man came back and asked the judge for a warrant against the lawyer who had successfully defended him.

"What's the charge?" inquired the judge.

"Why, Your Honor," replied the man, "you see, I didn't have the money to pay him his fee, so he took the horse I stole."


A lawyer cross-examining a witness, asked him where he was on a particular day; to which he replied that he had been in the company of two friends. "Friends.'" exclaimed his tormentor; "two thieves, I suppose." "They may be so," replied the witness, dryly, "for they are both lawyers."


"Did youse git anyt'ing?" whispered the burglar on guard as his pal emerged from the window.
"Naw, de bloke wot lives here is a lawyer," replied the other in disgust.
"Dat's hard luck," said the first; "did youse lose anyt'ing?"



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The Wife: "Oh, you needn't sneer! I mean every word I say.
Lawyer: "I'm not sneering, my dear. I'm just thinking what a lot you must mean."

Wedding & Marriage Humor

Lawyer: Who's that fellow who seems to know you?
The Lady: Only a second cousin once removed.
Lawyer: Hm! Well, he looks as if he wanted removing again.

Law Humor

The sport car was driven by a determined young woman, who had knocked down a man without injuring him much.
She did not try to get away. Instead, she stopped the car, descended to the solid earth and faced him manfully.
"I'm sorry it happened," she said grudgingly, "but it was all your fault. You must have been walking carelessly. I'm an experienced lawyer and driver. I've been lawyer for six years and driving a car for seven years."
"Well," replied her victim angrily, "I'm not a novice myself. I've been walking for fifty-two years."