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LAWYER
JOKES VOL.8
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Ignorance of the
law does not prevent
the
losing lawyer from
collecting his bill
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LETTERS
An impecunious
young lawyer
B.B. Lawcook recently received the following letter from a tailor to
whom
he was indebted:
"Dear Sir:
Kindly advise
me by return mail when I may expect a remittance from you in settlement
of my account.
Yours truly,
J. SNIPPMEN."
The
follower of Blackstone
immediately replied:
"Dear Sir:
I have your request
for advice of a recent date, and beg leave to say that not having
received
any retainer from you I cannot act in the premises. Upon receipt of
your
check for $250 I shall be very glad to look the matter up for you and
to
acquaint you with the results of my investigations.
I am, sir,
with great respect,
your most obedient servant,
B.B. LAWCOOK."
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DAMAGES
A man walking
along the street
of a village stepped into a hole in the sidewalk and broke his leg. He
engaged a famous lawyer, brought suit against the village for one
houndred
thousand dollars and won the case. The city appealed to the Supreme
Court,
but again the great lawyer won. After the claim was settled the lawyer
sent for his client and handed him one dollar.
"What's this?"
asked the
man.
"That's your
damages, after
taking out my fee, the cost of appeal and other expenses," replied the
counsel.
The man looked
at the dollar,
turned it over and carefully scanned the other side. Then looked up at
the lawyer and said: "What's the matter with this dollar? Is it
counterfeit?" |
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DO
YOU WANT A LAWYER
A prisoner was
brought before
the bar in the criminal court, but was not represented by a lawyer.
"Where is your
lawyer?"
asked the judge who presided.
"I have none,
sir," replied
the prisoner.
"Why not?"
queried the judge.
"Because I
have no money
to pay one."
"Do you want a
lawyer?"
asked the judge.
"Yes, sir."
"Well, there
are Mr. Thomas
W. Wilson, Mr. Henry Eddy, and Mr. George Rogers," said the judge,
pointing
to several young attorneys who were sitting in the room, waiting for
something
to turn up, "and Mr. Allen is out in the hall."
The prisoner
looked at the
attorneys, and, after a critical survey, he turned to the judge and
said:
"If I can take
my choice,
sir, I guess I'll take Mr. Allen." |
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Send
a link or joke to a friend
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LANGUAGES
Young Canadian lawyer, with a fellow
American, was traveling in the Orient, and
his companion one day fell into a heated argument with an old Arab.
Lawyer's
friend complained to him afterward that although he had spent years in
studying Arabic in preparation for this trip he could not understand a
word that the native said.
"Never mind," replied young lawyer consolingly. "You see, the old
duffer
hasn't
a tooth in his head, and he was only talking gum-Arabic." |
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Lawyer's Wife (pouting): You don't
value my kisses as you used
to.
Lawyer: Value
them? Why, before we were married I used to expect
a dozen
in payment for a box of candy, and now I consider only one of them
sufficient payment for a new dress. |
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KNOWLEDGE
The lawyer's son was home on his first
vacation since he had
attained to the dignity of law college.
He and his father
were
discussing affairs of the day, and finally the boy remarked: "I hope
when I am as old as you are, I'll know more about law than you do."
"I'll go you one better, my boy," the father replied. "I hope that
when
you are that old you will know as much as you think you do now." |
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