Travel Galapagos islands


Deceive not thy Physician, Confessor nor Lawyer.

A truck driver would amuse himself by running over lawyers he would see walking down the side of the road. Every time he would see a lawyer walking along the road, he would swerve to hit him, and there would be a loud "THUMP" and then he would swerve back onto the road. One day, as the truck driver was driving along he saw a priest hitchhiking. He thought he would do a good turn and pulled the truck over. He asked the priest, "Where are you going, Father?" 
"I'm going to the church 5 miles down the road," replied the priest. "No problem, Father! I'll give you a lift. Climb in the truck." The happy priest climbed into the passenger seat and the truck driver continued down the road. Suddenly the truck driver saw a lawyer walking down the road and instinctively he swerved to hit him. But then he remembered there was a priest in the truck with him, so at the last minute he swerved back away, narrowly missing the lawyer. However even though he was certain he missed the lawyer, he still heard a loud "THUMP". Not understanding where the noise came from he glanced in his mirrors and when he didn't see anything, he turned to the priest and said, "I'm sorry Father. I almost hit that lawyer." "That's okay", replied the priest. "I got him with the door!"


A man walked into a bar with his alligator and asked  the bartender, "Do you serve lawyers here?". 
"Sure do," replied the bartender. 
"Good," said the man. "Give me a beer, and I'll have a lawyer for my alligator."


Professional humorist had finished his speech at a special dinner-party, and on seating himself a well-known lawyer rose, shoved his hands deep into his trousers' pockets, as was his habit and laughingly inquired of those present:

"Doesn't it strike the company as a little unusual that a professional humorist should be funny?"

When the laugh had subsided, professional humorist drawled out:

"Doesn't it strike the company as a little unusual that a lawyer should have his hands in his own pockets?"


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The lunatic peered over the asylum wall, and saw a lawyer fishing from the bank of the river that ran close by. It was raining hard, which cooled the fevered brow of the lunatic and enabled him to think with great clearness. In consequence, he called down to the drenched fisherman:
"Caught anything?"
The lawyer on the bank looked up, and shook his head glumly.
"How long you been there?" the lunatic next demanded.
"Three hours," was the answer.
The lunatic grinned hospitably, and called down an invitation:
"Come inside!"
Political Jokes
The juryman petitioned the court to be excused, declaring:
"I owe a man twenty-five dollars that I borrowed, and as he is leaving town to-day for some years I want to catch him before he gets to the train and pay him the money."
"You are excused," the judge announced in a very cold voice. "I don't want anybody on the jury who can lie like you."
Golfers Humor
The young lawyer quoted from his own experience at poker in illustration of the general cussedness of things:
"Frequent, I have sot in a poker game, and it sure is queer how things will turn out. I've sot hour after hour in them games, without ever takin' a pot. And then, 'long about four o'clock in the mornin', the luck'd turn—it'd take a turn for the worse."