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Humor From Work Vol.1

Boss: "I've decided to use humor in the office. Experts say humor eases tension, which is important in times when the work force is being trimmed. 
- "Knock knock." 
Employee: "Who's there?" 
Boss: "Not you anymore."

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Did you hear about the Wall Street investment banker who won $10 million in the lottery? 

He's so happy that he's giving some serious thought to paying back his student loan.

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One winter morning, an employee explained why he had shown up for work 45 minutes late. 

"It was so slippery out that for every step I took ahead, I slipped back two." 

The boss eyed him suspiciously. " Oh, yeah? Then how you ever get here?" 

"I finally gave up," he said, " and started for home."

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"I can assure you that the value of the average employee will continue to increase." 

Employee: "That's because there will be fewer of us doing more work, right?" 
Boss: "Right. Except for the 'us' part."

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A mysterious building had been erected on the outskirts of a small town. It was shrouded in mystery. All that was known about it was that it was a chemical laboratory. An old farmer, driving past the place after work had been started, and seeing a man in the doorway, called to him:
"What be ye doin' in this place?"
"We are searching for a universal solvent—something that will dissolve all things," said the chemist.
"What good will thet be?"
"Imagine, sir! It will dissolve all things. If we want a solution of iron, glass, gold—anything, all that we have to do is to drop it in this solution."
"Fine," said the farmer, "fine! What be ye goin' to keep it in?"

Medical Humor & Jokes

When in England, an American politician had luncheon with a prominent Englishman noted for boasting of his ancestry.
Taking a coin from his pocket, the Englishman said:
"My great-great-grandfather was made a lord by the king whose picture you see on this shilling."
"Indeed!" replied the American politician, smiling, as he produced another coin.
"What a  coincidence! My great-great-grandfather was made an angel by the Indian whose picture you see on this cent."