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Medical Jokes & Humor
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The young Southern belle came to
the hospital
for a check-up.
"Have you ever been x-rayed?", asked the doctor.
"Nope," she replied, "But ah've been
ultra-violated." |
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HABITS
"Do you think I shall live until I'm ninety, doctor?"
"How old are you now?"
"Forty."
"Do you drink, gamble, smoke, or have you any bad habits of
any kind?"
"No. I don't drink, I never gamble, I don't smoke, never used
drugs; in fact, I haven't
any bad habits."
"Well, good heavens, what do you want to live another fifty
years for?" |
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DISCHARGE
Mrs. Jones went to see her doctor. When he inquired
about her complaint
she replied that she suffered from a discharge. He instructed her to
get undressed and lie down on the
examining
table.
She did so....
The doctor put on rubber gloves and began to massage her "private
parts."
After a couple of minutes he asked, she replied, "How does that feel?" "Wonderful," she
replied "but the discharge is from the
ear." |
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Send
a link or joke to a friend
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TOO WEAK
PAT—"I hear your woife is sick, Moike."
MIKE—"She is thot."
PAT—"Is it dangerous she is?"
MIKE—"Divil a bit. She's too weak to be dangerous any more!" |
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VILL
"Vell, Ian, my boy," said father to his
son, "I've made my vill and
left
it all to you."
"That's very good of you, father,"
remarked Ike, eyeing him
suspiciously. "But, bless you, it cost a lot of money for the lawyer
and
fees and things!"
"Vell?" said Ian more suspiciously.
"Vell, it ain't fair I should
pay
all dot, is it? So you should take it off from your next month's
salary."
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TROUBLE
"Did you hear about the awful trouble that
has befallen our
next door neighbor?"
"Don't tell me she has lost her voice."
"No, her husband has lost his hearing." |
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