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Humor From Work Vol. 8

Prison vs. Work 
In Prison: You spend the majority of your time in an 8x10 cell.
At Work: You spend most of your time in a 6x8 cubicle.
In Prison: You get three meals a day for free.
At Work: You only get a break for 1 meal and you have to pay for it.
In Prison: You get time off for good behavior.
At Work: You get rewarded for good behavior with more work.
In Prison: A guard locks and unlocks all the doors for you.
At Work: You must carry around a security card and unlock and open all the doors yourself.
In Prison: You can watch TV and play games.
At Work: You get fired for watching TV and playing games. 
In Prison: You get your own toilet.
At Work: You have to share. 
In Prison: They allow your family and friends to visit.
At Work
: You cannot even speak to your family or friends.

In Prison: All expenses are paid by taxpayers with no work required.
At Work: You get to pay all the expenses to go to work and then they deduct taxes from your salary to pay for prisoners.
In Prison: You spend most of your life looking through bars from the inside wanting to get out.
At Work: You spend most of your time wanting to get out and go inside bars. 
In Prison:There are wardens who are often sadistic. At Work: They are called supervisors. 
In Prison:You can't get fired if you read e-mail jokes. At Work: You get fired if you get caught.

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A young man hired by a supermarket reported to his first day of work. The manager greeted him with a warm handshake and a smile, gave him a broom and said, "Your first job will be to sweep out the store." 
"But I'm a college graduate," young man replied indignantly. 
"Oh, I apologize. I didn't know that," said the manager." Here, give me the broom - I'll show you how." 


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"Now, sir," said a local lawyer to a candidate for municipal honors, "I want to ask you a question. Do you ever take alcoholic drinks?"
"Before I answer the question," responded the wary candidate,
"I want to know whether it is put as an inquiry or as an invitation!"

Law Humor

One Christian Bishop was remarkable for the neatness and point of his pulpit utterances. Once, during a disastrous strike, a local capitalist arose in a church meeting and asked leave to speak. The bishop gave him the floor, and the man delivered himself of a long panegyric upon captains of industry, upon the good they do by giving men work, by booming the country, by reducing the cost of production, and so forth. When the capitalist had finished his self-praise and, flushed and satisfied, had sat down again, Christian Bishop rose and said with quiet significance: 'Is there any other sinner that would like to say a word?'"

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