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Humor About Women Vol.7

A mother need only step into the shower to be instantly
reassured she is indispensable to every member of her family. 


Young woman sat down in small restaurant, a waitress came over to take her order. 
"I'll have a hamburger please." 
"Burger!" she yelled over her shoulder.
Then woman added. "Make it well done." 
Waitres turned away again. "Torture it!" she yelled.

Question: Why is a modem better than a woman? 
Answer: A modem doesn't mind if you talk to other modems. A modem doesn't complain if you sit and play at the computer all night. A modem will sit patiently and wait by the phone. A modem comes with an instruction manual.


A young woman with a happy, cheerful voice was working in her husband's trucking line office. She answered a phone call from a trucker asking for directions to the terminal. After a short conversation, he said he could hardly wait to meet her. "I just know you are small, blond with blue eyes," he said. "No," young woman replied, "I'm tall, brunette and have brown eyes." "Close enough!" said the trucker. 

Question: How many feminists does it take to screw in a light bulb? 
Answer: That's not funny.


After reading an article in the evening paper about women living longer than men, an old man commented, "I wonder why men go first?" His wife had an explanation:
"Someone has to stay behind to pick up the clothes!"

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The not especially sweet tempered young wife approached her husband James concerning the matter of one hundred dollars or so.

"I'd like to let you have it, my dear," began the husband, "but the fact is I haven't that amount in the bank this morning—that is to say, I haven't that amount to spare, in as much as I must take up a note for two hundred dollars this afternoon."

"Oh, very well, James!" said the wife, with an ominous calmness, "If you think the man who holds the note can make things any hotter for you than I can, do as you say, James!"


A man had been arrested on a charge of beating and cruelly misusing his wife. After hearing the charge against the prisoner, the justice turned to the first witness.

"Madam," he said, "if this man were your husband and had given you a beating, would you call in the police?"

The woman addressed, a veritable Amazon in size and aggressiveness, turned a smiling countenance towards the justice and answered:

"No, judge. If he was mah husban', and he treated me lak he did 'is wife, Ah wouldn't call no p'liceman. No, sah, Ah'd call de mortician."