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Humor About Women Vol.4
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| Woman—the
only sex which attaches more importance to
what's on its head than to what's in it. |
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PERFECT DRESS
Shortly after the birth of their
second child, her
husband offered to take her shopping for a new dress. He endured more
than
two hours of listening to her complaints about which figure flaw each
dress
accentuated. As she emerged from the dressing room, having tried on the
last selection, she asked for her husband's opinion. By this time, he
had
learned just the right things to say. "It's perfect!" he exclaimed. "It
makes your waist look smaller, your legs look longer and slenderizes
your
hips."
Just then, a voice from the dressing room piped up. "If there's a dress
here that will do all that- I'll take ten!" |
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CONVERSATION
Doctor to the young pregnant woman:
"Did you and your husband plan this pregnancy?"
"No" she replied "we just talked about it." There was a pause before
doctor said, "That must have been some conversation." |
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Doughter to her mother:
"What's an orgasm Mom?
I don't know...ask your father. "
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INSURANCE
The woman at the insurance office inquired
as to the costs, amounts
paid, etc.
"So," she concluded, "if I pay sixtyfive dollars monthly, you pay me a
hundred and fifty thousand dollars
if my
house burns down. But do you ask questions about how the fire came to
start?"
"We make careful investigation, of course," the agent replied.
The woman flounced toward the door disgustedly.
"Just as I thought," she called over her shoulder. "I knew there was
a
catch in it." |
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a link or joke to a friend
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INITIATIVE
The sweet little girl had a violent
physical fight with her particular
close friend.
Her
mother reprimanded her, and concluded by saying:
"It was Satan who suggested to you the pulling of Jenny's hair."
"I shouldn't be surprised," the child replied musingly. "But," she
added
proudly, "slapping her was entirely my own idea." |
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INSULTED
Martha was remarkable for the size of her
mouth. She claimed that
she
had been insulted by a deacon of her church.
"When I stood up in the church meeting, to relate my experience,"
Martha
explained, "and opened my mouth, the
Deacon rose up in front
and said,
'Will somebody please close that window, and keep it closed!'" |
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GET
TWO
Several women were discussing what
they should have for
dinner. "If
you're watching your weight," came one suggestion, "those diet
frozen
dinners
are good." The man then added: "But get two. They're small." |
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