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Humor About Women Vol.1
The average man is proof enough that women can take a joke.

THE LAST 10 THINGS ANY WOMAN WOULD EVER SAY:
  1. I'm wrong, you must be right again.
  2. Could our relationship be more Physical?  I'm tired of  just being friends.
  3. I think hairy butts are really sexy.
  4. This diamond is way too big.
  5. I won't even put my lips on that thing unless I get to swallow.
  6. Does this make my butt look too small?
  7. Let us talk about you. I've done nothing but talk about myself all evening.
  8. Please don't throw that old T-shirt away, the holes in the armpit are just too cute.
  9. Hey, get a whiff of that one.
  10. Go ahead and leave the seat up, it's easier for me to douche that way.

OPTIMISTIC

One woman to another at a singles bar:
"I'm not as optimistic about relationships as I used to be. These days, when I meet a man, I ask myself, Is this the guy I want my children to spend every other weekend with?" 

GOOD ANSWER

Papa: "Why did you permit your new boyfriend to kiss you in the parlor last night?"
Daughter: "Because I was afraid he'd catch cold in the hall."

ANNIVERSARIES

MRS. JONES: "Does your husband remember your wedding anniversary?"
MRS. SMITH: "No; so I remind him of it in January and June, and get two presents."

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BRUTALITY
Two ladies in a train disputed concerning the window, and at last called the conductor as referee.
"If this window is open," one declared, "I shall catch cold, and will probably die."
"If the window is shut," the other announced, "I shall certainly suffocate." The two glared at each other.
The conductor was at a loss, but he welcomed the words of a man with a red nose who sat near. These were:
"First, open the window, conductor. That will kill one. Next, shut it. That will kill the other. Then we can have peace."
Wedding & Marriage Humor
A gentlemen sitting next to beautiful young lady was asking: "Do you know what is beauty?"
She replied: "That is the question of a blind man."

VANITY
The fair penitent explained to the confessor how greatly she was grieved by an accusing conscience. She regreted the fact that she was sadly given over to personal vanity. She added that on this very morning she had gazed into her mirror and had yielded to the temptation of thinking herself beautiful.
"Is that all, my daughter?" the priest demanded.
"Then, my daughter," the confessor told her, "go in peace, for to be mistaken is not to sin."