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Humor About Women Vol.3
He Says-She Says
  • A man is a person who, if a woman says, "Never mind, I'll do it myself," lets her.
  • A woman is a person who, if she says to a man, "Never mind, I'll do it myself," and he lets her, gets mad.
  • A man is a person who, if a woman says to him, "Never mind, I'll do it myself," and he lets her and she gets mad, says, "Now what are you mad about?"
  • A woman is a person who, if she says to a man, "Never mind, I'll do it myself," and he lets her, and she gets mad, and he says, "Now what are you mad about?" says, "If you don't know I'm not going to tell you."

NUTRITION VALUE

A woman was cutting her husband's thinning hair, when their teenage son arrived home looking for a snack. She ofered a kiwifruit and tried to tempt him with its nutritious qualities.
—"It has more vitamin C than an orange," she remarked. 
— "And more hair than Dad," added their son. 

Question: Why is it good that there are women astronauts? 
Answer: So that when the crew gets lost in space, at least the women will ask for directions.

SURVEY

A woman participating in a survey was asked how she felt about condoms. 
She said, "Depends on what's in it for me."

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NEIGHBORS
MRS. JENKINS: "Mrs. Smith, we shall be neighbors now. I have bought a house next you, with a water frontage."
MRS. SMITH: "So glad! I hope you will drop in some time."

Wedding & Marriage Humor

INSULT
The young wife greeted her husband tearfully on his return from the day's work.
"Oh, Willie, darling," she gasped, "I have been so insulted!"
"Insulted!" Willie exclaimed wrathfully. "Insulted by whom?"
"By your mother!" the wife declared, and sobbed aloud.
The husband was aghast, but inclined to be skeptical.
"By my mother, Ella? Why, dearest, that's nonsense. She's a hundred miles away."
"But she did," the wife insisted. "A letter came to you this morning, and it was addressed in your mother's writing, so, of course, I opened it."
"Oh, yes, of course," Willie agreed, without any enthusiasm.
"And it was written to you all the whole way through, every word of it, except——"
"Except what?"
"Except the postscript," the wife flared. "That was the insult—that was to me." The tears flowed again. "It said: 'P. S.—Dear Ella, don't fail to give this letter to Willie. I want him to read it.'"