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Marriage &
Wedding Humor Vol.3
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Married
men live longer than
single men,
but married men
are a lot more willing to
die.
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FISHING OPPORTUNITY
A man phones home from his office and
tells his wife, "Something
has just come up. I have the chance to go fishing for a week. Its the
opportunity
of a lifetime. We leave right away. So pack my clothes, my fishing
equipment,
and especially my blue silk pajamas. I'll be home in an hour to pick
them
up."
He goes home in a hurry and grabs everything and rushes off. A week
later he returns. His wife asks: "Did you have a good trip,
Dear?"
He says: "Oh yes, the fishing was great, but you forgot to pack
my blue silk pajamas."
His wife smiles and says, "Oh, no I didn't, I put them in
your tackle box." |
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THE DIFFERENCE
She: "I'm so glad we're engaged."
He: "But you knew all the time that I loved you,
didn't you?"
She: "Yes, dear, I knew it, but you didn't." |
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| My wife sez that I'm too extravagant;
that if anything
ever happens to her, I'll have to beg. I told her I'd be fine. I mean
look
at all the experience I've got. |
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REASSURING
She: "Oh! Jack! Are you perfectly certain
that
you love me?"
He: "My darling! You don't suppose that I have
lived for
thirty years
without knowing love when I feel it." |
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A husband and wife were shopping when
the wife said, "Darling,
its my mothers birthday tomorrow. What shall we buy for her?"
"She would like something electric."
The husband
replied, "How
about a chair?!?" |
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SURE SIGNS
"Afraid you're going to have insomnia? What
are the
symptoms?"
"Twins." |
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Send
a link or joke to a friend
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GETTING EVEN
Wife:
"Jack, I have made up my mind to fine you fifty
cents every
time you swear."
Husband: "That's a bargain my darling, if
you'll give me fifty cents
every time
you envy me for being able to." |
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CLASSIFIED
Wife (talking on the phone to her friend):
"Oh, Jane! I have just talked Edward
into
giving me the
money for a new coat."
Husband: "Which I shall
enter in my accounts as 'Hush
Money.'" |
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ANSWER
Mother:
"Have you given Jack your final answer yet?"
Linda: "Not yet mother,
but I have given him my final 'No.'" |
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MAKING SURE
"Papa, the Mike wants me to send him a
photograph to show to his
parents before our wedding day."
"I thought he had dozens of your photos."
"Yes, but he wants a photo of your certified check." |
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THINGS TO CONSIDER
Wife (at upper window):
"Where you bin this hour of
the night?"
Husband: "I've bin
at me union, considerin' this 'ere strike."
Wife: "Well—you can
stay down there an' consider this 'ere lock-out." |
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