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Marriage & Wedding Humor Vol.9

JOINT ACCOUNT

She had only been married a month, when her friend called to see how she was getting on.
"We're getting on fine!" exclaimed the young wife. "We have a joint account in the bank; it's such fun to pay bills by cheque."
"What do you mean by joint account?" asked the caller. "Do you put in equal sums?"
"Oh! I don't put in anything," was the explanation. "My husband puts it in, and I draw it out!"

After attending a dinner, husband and wife were discussing the food. Remembering the fruit dish, he said, "My favourite was the amnesia."
"That's ambrosia," corrected his wife
"Oh, yeah," he replied. "I always forget the name of that dish.

HER SOFT ANSWER

They had had their usual altercation over the breakfast table, and hubby exclaimed: "What would you do if I were one of those husbands who get up cross in the morning, bang the things about, and kick because the coffee is cold?"
"Why," replied his wife, "I should make it hot for you!"

Bride: "Oh, dear! I can't help wondering what father will say when he gets our letter."
Groom: "It can't make any difference to our happiness, darling—so long as he doesn't do it when we get back."

THE OBSTACLE

John: "I proposed to that girl and would have married her if it hadn't been for something she said."
Friend: "What did she say?"
John: She said: "No!"

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IMPORTANT ARTICLE

"What are you cutting out of the paper John?"
"An article about a California man securing a divorce because his wife went through his pockets."
"What are you going to do with it?" "Put it in my pocket."

Wedding & Marriage Humor

UNDERSTANDING

A woman missionary in China was taking tea with a mandarin's eight wives. The Chinese ladies examined her clothing, her hair, her teeth, and so on, but her feet especially amazed them.
"Why," cried one, "you can walk or run as well as a man!"
"Yes, to be sure," said the missionary.
"Can you ride a horse and swim, too?"
"Yes."
"Then you must be as strong as a man!"
"I am."
"And you wouldn't let a man beat you—not even if he was your husband—would you?"
"Indeed I wouldn't," the missionary said.
The mandarin's eight wives looked at one another, nodding their heads. Then the oldest said softly: "Now I understand why the foreign devil never has more than one wife. He is afraid!"