Marriage & Wedding Humor Vol.7


I never could stand Melvin. Why I married him I'll never know. And for seventeen miserable years I have said Melvin has got to go! I tried poisoning cakes, stripping his brakes, salting his pork chops with lime. Wiring his chair, igniting his hair even though playing with fire is a crime. But, I failed at each plot, till I suddenly thought of a way that would set me free! I got rid of him for good, and, know what? They can't do a thing to me! I took him back to Wal-Mart! They'll take anything back you know! They said they couldn't recall selling him, But they must have if I said so. They just credited him to my Visa, and said, "Ya'll come back now, 'ya hear?" They were so nice, polite, pleasant and insistent, I will! I'll take back his mother next year! They'll take anything back at Wal-Mart, though it's broken or rotten or sweet. And know what else? This time of year? You don't even need a receipt!

"I would die for you," said the rich older groom.
"How soon?" asked the practical bride-to-be.


The British Consul was informed by American government that one of his countrywomen, supposed to be living in Great Britain, had been left a large fortune. After advertising without result, he applied to the police, and a smart young detective was set to work. A few weeks later his chief asked how he was getting on.
"I've found the lady, sir."
"Good! Where is she?"
"At my place. I married her yesterday."

I'm not the kind-of guy who objects to my wife having the last word. I'd  just wish to hell she'd get to it!

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Send a link or joke to a friend
Mr. Graham: "Do you know, Miss Hill, if I had my way, I'd put every woman in jail!"
Miss Hill: "Why, Mr. Graham, I'm surprised. I didn't know you felt that way about us! What sort of a nation do you think this would be, if you put all the women in jail?"
Mr. Graham: "Stag-nation, of course!"

Wedding & Marriage Humor

"I'd like to see the man who could persuade me to promise to love, honour and obey him," said Miss Page.

"I don't blame you," remarked the newly-made bride.

Political Jokes

"Your wife looks stunning to-night. Her gown is a poem."
"What do you mean, poem?" replied the struggling author. "That gown is two poems and a short story."