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Marriage & Wedding Humor Vol.1
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GUIDANCE
On the evening of their wedding
night, a young couple
finally retired to their hotel room. After making her preparations,
Margaret,
the bride left the bathroom to find Harold, the bridegroom, praying.
"So
what are you doing?" she asked.
"I'm praying for guidance," answered the religious
young man.
"I'll take care of that," she replied. "You pray
for endurance." |
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"And would you love me as much if my father lost all his
money?"
"Has he?"
"Why, no."
"Of course I would, darling." |
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EXHAUSTED
A woman goes to her doctor
complaining that she is
exhausted all the time. After the diagnostic tests showed nothing, the
doctor gets around to asking her how often she has intercourse.
"Every Monday, Wednesday, Friday and Saturday," she
says.
The doctor advises her to cut out Wednesday.
"I can't," says the woman. "That's the only
night I'm home
with my husband." |
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"Is she making a rich marriage?"
"Don't you worry, I should hope to tell you; he is a butcher who has
been arrested
three
times for profiteering." |
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TIRED
Little Girl (to Bride at
wedding reception):
"You
don't look nearly
as tired as I should have thought."
Bride: "Don't I,
dear? But why did you think I
should look
tired?"
Little Girl: "Well,
I heard Mummy say to Dad that
you'd been
running
after your groom for months and months." |
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Prospective Bride:
"I am glad I decided to be
married in a
traveling
dress—a wedding dress costs such a lot."
Dressmaker: "Yes,
miss, and the next time you
wanted to wear
it, it
would be out of fashion." |
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Send
a link or joke to a friend
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AN EXTENSIVE LOVE
She:
"They say that he fairly worships the ground she walks
on."
He: "That's saying a good deal when
you consider what a golf
fiend she
is." |
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DESPERATE STILL
She: "Oh!
there's no use of my giving you any hope, because I
cannot
believe in love in a cottage."
He: "But I've known cases of love in a
two-storey, with a pool
and all improvements." |
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MORE OPPORTUNITY
The Wife: "Really, my dear, you are awfully
extravagant. Our
neighbor,
Mr. Smith, is just twice as self-denying as you are."
The Husband: "But he has
just twice as much money to be
self-denying
with." |
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