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Medical Humor & Jokes Vol.1



My wife came home from the doctor's the other day and said that he told her she couldn't make love. Now I'm wondering how he found out.


AFTER OPERATION

A surgeon came to see his patient on the morning after her operation. The young woman asked him, somewhat hesitantly, how long it would be before she could resume her sex life. "I really haven't thought about it," gulped the stunned surgeon. "You're the first patient who's asked me that question after a tonsillectomy!"

PHYSICAL EXAM

An elderly gentlemen went to the doctor for a physical. After examining the man, the doctor said "I think you are all right, but just the same before you leave I would like a urine sample, a stool sample, and a semen sample." The man, who was a little hard of hearing, turned to his wife and said "What did the doctor say?"
His wife quickly replied "He wants your shorts!!!!!"

EMERGENCY CALL

The tired doctor was awakened by a phone call in the middle of the night. "Please, you have to come right over," pleaded the distraught mother. "My child has swallowed a contraceptive."
The physician dressed quickly, but before he could get out the door, the phone rang again. "You don't have to come over after all," the woman said with a sigh of relief. "My husband just found another one."


First Burglar:
"Say, Bill, de doctor what fixed de leg I broke doin' dat second-story job didn't do a t'ing but soak me five hundred plunks!"

Second Burglar: "Oh, say, wasn't that robbery?"


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