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Medical Humor & Jokes Vol.5
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HEADACHES
Joe was suffering from excruciating
headaches. The
doctor told him he could cure the headaches, but it would require
castration.
"You have a rare condition
that causes pressure to build up against
your spine," the doctor explained. "This, in turn, causes headaches.
The
only cure is surgery." Joe was shocked but had the operation.
When he left the hospital, Joe was depressed, so he stopped at a men's
shop for a new suit. The salesman eyed him and said, "44 long?"
"That's
right."Joe said. He tried on the suit, and it fit perfectly.
"How about a new shirt?"
the salesman suggested. "Let's see, a
34
sleeve
and 16 neck ought to do it."
"Right again," Joe
said. "You're simply amazing."
"While we're at it, how
about some new underwear?" the salesman asked. "Size 36 right?"
the salesman asked.
"Nope, you finally missed
one." Joe
said, chuckling. "I wear size 34."
"You couldn't possibly,"
replied salesman. "Underwear that
tight would
create a great deal of pressure against your spine and cause one heck
of
a headache." |
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Oldest Inhabitant:
"I never expected to live till the end of
the War, doctor; but now I'm hoping to be healthy and spared to see the
beginning of the next
one."
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MAKING LOVE
A psihologist was giving a lecture
at men's club.
"How many of you make love
to your wives every night?"-
he asked.
A few raised their hands.
"Twice a week?"
More hands.
"Once a month?"
Still more.
"Only once a year?"
A man in the back row jumped up and eagerly shouted, "Me!"
"So why are you so
cheerful?" the therapist asked.
"Because tonight's the
night!" |
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Man to waiter in
trendy restaurant: "I' ll have the oysters on
the half
shell for my cardiovascular system, the cabernet sauvignon for
my cholesterol and the french fries for my inner
child."
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Send
a link or joke to a friend
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EXAMINATION
During the period after the medical
university examinations, when an
unusually
large number of students flunked, one of the young men went to his
professor,
and said: "I don't think this is fair, sir; I don't think I should have
a zero on this examination."
"I know it," replied the professor, "but we
do not have any mark
lower
than that." |
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ATHLETES
After visitation was done, the doctor's eye
had caught the photograph of Tommie Billups, standing
on the desk of Mr. Billups.
"That your boy, Billups?" he asked.
"Yes," said Billups, "he's a sophomore up at Binkton College."
"Looks intellectual rather than athletic," said the doctor.
"Oh, he's an athlete all right," said Billups. "When it comes to
running
up accounts, and jumping his board-bill, and lifting his voice, and
throwing
a thirty-two pound bluff, there isn't a gladiator in creation that can
give my boy Tommie any kind of a handicap. He's just written for an
extra
check."
"And as a proud father you are sending it, I don't doubt," smiled
the doctor.
"Yes," grinned Billups; "I am sending him a rain-check I got at the
hall-game yesterday. As an athlete, he'll appreciate its value." |
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