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Medical Humor & Jokes Vol.5


Joe was suffering from excruciating headaches. The doctor told him he could cure the headaches, but it would require castration.
"You have a rare condition that causes pressure to build up against your spine," the doctor explained. "This, in turn, causes headaches. The only cure is surgery." Joe was shocked but had the operation.
When he left the hospital, Joe was depressed, so he stopped at a men's shop for a new suit. The salesman eyed him and said, "44 long?"
"That's right."Joe said. He tried on the suit, and it fit perfectly.
"How about a new shirt?" the salesman suggested. "Let's see, a 34 sleeve and 16 neck ought to do it."
"Right again," Joe said. "You're simply amazing."
"While we're at it, how about some new underwear?" the salesman asked. "Size 36 right?" the salesman asked.
"Nope, you finally missed one." Joe said, chuckling. "I wear size 34."
"You couldn't possibly," replied salesman. "Underwear that tight would create a great deal of pressure against your spine and cause one heck of a headache."

Oldest Inhabitant:
"I never expected to live till the end of the War, doctor; but now I'm hoping to be healthy and spared to see the beginning of the next one."


A psihologist was giving a lecture at men's club. 
"How many of you make love to your wives every night?"- he asked. A few raised their hands.
"Twice a week?" More hands.
"Once a month?" Still more.
"Only once a year?" 
A man in the back row jumped up and eagerly shouted, "Me!"
"So why are you so cheerful?" the therapist asked.
"Because tonight's the night!"

Man to  waiter  in trendy restaurant: "I' ll have the oysters on the half  shell for my cardiovascular system, the cabernet sauvignon for my cholesterol and the french fries for my inner child."

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During the period after the medical university examinations, when an unusually large number of students flunked, one of the young men went to his professor, and said: "I don't think this is fair, sir; I don't think I should have a zero on this examination."
"I know it," replied the professor, "but we do not have any mark lower than that."


After visitation was done, the doctor's eye had caught the photograph of Tommie Billups, standing on the desk of Mr. Billups.
"That your boy, Billups?" he asked.
"Yes," said Billups, "he's a sophomore up at Binkton College."
"Looks intellectual rather than athletic," said the doctor.
"Oh, he's an athlete all right," said Billups. "When it comes to running up accounts, and jumping his board-bill, and lifting his voice, and throwing a thirty-two pound bluff, there isn't a gladiator in creation that can give my boy Tommie any kind of a handicap. He's just written for an extra check."
"And as a proud father you are sending it, I don't doubt," smiled the doctor.
"Yes," grinned Billups; "I am sending him a rain-check I got at the hall-game yesterday. As an athlete, he'll appreciate its value."