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Medical Humor & Jokes Vol.2
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POWERFUL EXAM
The young lady entered the doctor's office carrying an
infant.
"Doctor," she
explained, "the baby seems to be
ailing. Instead of
gaining
weight, he lost three ounces this week."
The medic examined the child
and
then started to squeeze the girl's breasts. He then unbuttoned her
blouse,
removed the bra and began powerfully sucking on one nipple. "Young
lady,"
he finally announced, "no wonder the
baby is losing weight, you haven't
any milk!"
"Of course not!"
she shrieked. "It's not my child,
it's my sister's!" |
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SURGEON AT HOSPITAL:
"What brought you to this
dreadful condition? Were you run over by a truck?"
PATIENT: "No, sir;
I fainted, and was brought back to life by a
student of medicine who is my neighbor. |
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FIRST AID IN ILLNESS AND INJURY
The father of the family hurried to the telephone and called
up
the family physician.
"Our little boy is sick, Doctor," he said, "so please come at once."
"I can't get over much
under an hour," said the doctor.
"Oh please do, Doctor. You
see, my wife has a book on 'First Aid In Illness And Inyury,' and I'm
so afraid she'll do it before
you get here!"
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PAIN
A woman goes to her doctor who verifies that she is
pregnant.This is
her first pregnancy.The doctor asks her if she has any questions.
She
replies,"Well,
I'm a little worried about the pain. How much will childbirth hurt?"
The doctor answered, "Well, that
varies from woman to woman and
pregnancy
to pregnancy and besides, it's difficult to describe pain."
"I
know,
but can't you give me some idea?," she asks.
"Grab your upper lip
and pull it out a little..." "Like this?" "A little
more..."
"Like this?" "No. A little more..." "Like this?" "Yes. Does that hurt?"
"A little bit." "Now stretch it over your head!" |
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Send
a link or joke to a friend
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PAYMENT
In many of the rural districts of the United States where money does
not
circulate with great rapidity services are paid for "in kind." Farmers,
for example, will give potatoes, eggs, etc., in payment for debts. A
young surgeon who had occasion to operate in one of these districts
hopefully approached the husband of the patient and asked for his fee,
which amounted to $100. "Doc," said the old man, "I haven't much ready
cash on hand. Suppose you let me pay you in kind." "Well, I guess that
will be all right," replied the young doctor, cheerfully. "What do you
deal in?" "Horseradish, doc," answered the old man. |
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PRESCRIPTION
Doctor: "You are a
great deal better this morning, I see. You
followed
my directions, and that prescription did the business —what, you
haven't
taken any of it?"
Patient: "No; it
says on the label, 'Keep the bottle tightly
corked.'" |
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