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Real
Life Humor Vol.1
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Boss: What do you
mean by such language? Are you
the manager
here or
am I?
Worker: I know I'm
not the manager.
Boss: Very well,
then, if you're not the
manager, why do
you talk
like a blamed idiot? |
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Special Aid
Canadian Forces unit, while
deplayed in Bosnia
with NATO, received a call to aid a vehicle that had run out' of gas.
When
the men arrived on the scene, they couldn't help laughing. It was a
fuel
truck with 2,200 litres of fuel on board. |
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Rain Check
Her vacation at the home of some friends
was marred by a nasty attack
of flu. As she recovered, they kidded her about the date of her
funeral,
her preference for floral tributes and so on. Once home, she phoned the
florist to send a thank-you gift to her hosts. Her voice still
suffering
from the effects of nasal congestion, she dictated the message to
accompany
the flowers: "The wake is off. I'll take a rain check on the black
pansies."
When the florist's delivered her gift, he surprised her hostess with
a wide smile and knowing wink. The reason for his behaviour became
clear
when she read the mangled message: "The date is off. I'll take a rain
check
on the black panties." |
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Site to Behold
The kids and she left home early in order to arrive at the campsite
before the crowd. Because her husband, had to work that day, he had
arranged
for them to meet his best friend and his wife at the park, and he'd
meet
them later. When her husband arrived at the gate, he stopped at the
booth
and said to the attendant: "My wife's
camping here with my best friend.
Do you know which site they're in?"
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Relatively
Confused
Her
daughter, had just moved from Edmonton, where she had been living
for several years, to Vancouver. She was staying with them till she
moved
into her own apartment. When she was on the phone with her sister in
Edmonton
when her daughter popped her head out of her room and said, "Tell her I
miss the mall."I repeated "Tina says she misses the mall..-" Tina
quickly
opened her door again, an amused look on her face, and said,
"N-o-o-o...
them all!"
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Send
a link or joke to a friend
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NEW TEACHER
Mother:
"Well,
Mollie, how do you like your new teacher?"
Mollie: "I half
like her, and I half don't like her. But
I think I half
don't
like her most." |
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Mark Twain
constantly received letters and photographs from men who
had been told that they looked like him. One was from Florida, and the
likeness, as shown by the man's picture, was really remarkable so
remarkable,
indeed, that he sent the following acknowledgment:
"My Dear Sir: I thank you very much for your letter and the
photograph.
In my opinion you are certainly more like me than any other of my
doubles.
In fact, I am sure that if you stood before me in a mirrorless frame I
could shave by you." |
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STORY FROM HISTORY
When Queen
Liliuokalani was in England during the English queen's
jubilee,
she was received at Buckingham Palace. In the course of the remarks
that
passed between the two queens, the one from the Sandwich Islands said
that
she had English blood in her veins.
"How so?" inquired Queen Victoria.
"My ancestors ate Captain Cook."
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